


i know you know

by CloudHop



Series: pick me (nayana) [9]
Category: JBJ (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Drama, Eventual Romance, M/M, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2018-12-24 04:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12005097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudHop/pseuds/CloudHop
Summary: Kwon Hyunbin really likes his friends. He just likes Sanggyun a little more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SO PSYCHED FOR JBJ no but forreal i really am. like shoot me. this pairing is also not popular but it's cool, like whatever, it's fine...
> 
> takes place at the same time as [ Midnight Sun ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139374/chapters/27541659)

“Hey hyung, wanna go the park today?”  
They’re eating lunch on the roof like usual. Donghan is nagging at Taehyun, trying to steal his phone (“Donghan-ah, I need to text back Sungwoon.”) and Yongguk is pointedly ignoring his own buzzing device while Kenta raises an eyebrow and shares a look with Taedong (“Yonggukkie, somebody is messaging you.”)

“Sure, Hyunbin-ah.”  
Sanggyun isn’t really paying attention to him. He’s staring at the sunny sky and chewing thoughtfully on a mouthful of rice. His eyes seem distant. Hyunbin gazes at him a moment longer and then changes focus to see Taehyun attempting to climb Donghan.

“Donghan-ah, give me my phone back!”

Donghan sticks his tongue out.

“Not a chance, hyung!”

He gives him a cheeky wink and takes off. The door to the stairs slams and Hyunbin can hear the patter of footsteps getting quieter.

“You brat!” Taehyun cries, and then he’s off too. Kenta lets out an audible sigh and the rest of the group continues to eat in silence. Yongguk’s phone buzzing again breaks it.

“Yonggukkie-”

“Don’t call me that.”  
“Yongguk-ah, Shihyun-ah is messaging you.”  
“I don’t know who that is.”

A few beats pass and Yongguk’s phone buzzes again.

“Yongguk. Shihyun is messaging you.”  
“You said that already.”

 Lunch ends without the return of Donghan or Taehyun, and without the return of a text to Shihyun.

\----  
Hyunbin meets Sanggyun outside the front gates after school.  
“How were your classes, hyung?”

Sanggyun shrugs.

“Boring like usual. I wrote a new rap.”

“Can I see?”

“Sure. I’ll show you later.”

Hyunbin smiles. They start walking to the park, talking aimlessly about random things. Hyunbin comments on Taehyun and Donghan’s funny friendship and Sanggyun brings up the newest gossip of Dongho having a crush on an underclassman.

“Dongho-hyung with a crush? No way.”

“It’s true! I swear, I heard it from Jonghyun.”

“You don’t talk to Jonghyun.”  
“Yeah, well, I did. And he told me.”

“You’re lying hyung. Like Dongho-hyung would have a crush. On an underclassman. Ridiculous.”

Sanggyun shrugs.

“It’s just what I’ve heard.”

They continue to talk and move on to new topics: Seonho’s overwhelming skinship bordering on blatant (one-sided) flirting with Minhyun, Daniel and Ong’s disgustingly sweet relationship, Jihoon’s newest idea of how to incorporate pink into the school uniform. When they arrive at the park they’ve moved on to discussing the little Chinese middle schooler who shows up sometimes to pester them.

“And he says he wants to be cool and sexy, but I keep on telling him he’s too young for that right now,” Hyunbin says. Sanggyun laughs.

“Hey, not everybody can be as cool and sexy as me,” he says with a cheesy smile. Hyunbin gives his shoulder a light shove.

“Shut up hyung, you’re gross and I’m way more handsome than you.”  
“Mean, Hyunbinnie. That was mean.”

They move to the swings almost immediately and sit side by side. The sky has started to darken, but only a little. Hyunbin takes a deep breath and steels himself.

“Sanggyun-hyung…I have a confession.” He exhales. “I like you. That’s why I’m always asking you for advice. I don’t actually want it. Your advice sucks.”

“Hey! My advice is great! You take that back.”  
“…hyung, did you hear me?”

“Yeah yeah, whatever, my advice is way solid. I’m clearly great at giving you advice because even Donghan said that your latest rap was good, and that guy is, like, way critical of everybody.”  
“…hyung, I just said I like you. Aren’t you going to…I don’t know, reject me or something?”

Sanggyun has taken to examining his cuticles rather extensively.

“I…give me some time to think about it.”

“…hyung. Are you…are you serious right now?”

Sanggyun’s eyebrows draw together and he purses his lips.  
“Yeah, Hyunbin. I wouldn’t joke about something like this.”

“Uh. Okay,” Hyunbin says. They’re still sitting on the swings, side by side.

“I’m gonna go home now,” Sanggyun says, standing up. The swing sways a little, iron chains clinking together. The sun has gone down more too, a sunset forming picturesquely over the trees. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, hyung,” Hyunbin says.

“Don’t stay out too late Hyunbin-ah.”

“I won’t.”

Hyunbin waves and watches Sanggyun’s steadily retreating back. He lets out a deep sigh and looks up. The sun is setting fast. He heaves himself up from the swing and figures it’s time to go home.

\----  
Last night, Hyunbin had anticipated school to be an awkward affair, but there is nothing inherently different when he goes to his locker the next morning. Shihyun is at his own locker, rustling through assorted textbooks and loose papers. Hyunbin walks up and opens his locker, greeting Shihyun with a small smile. Shihyun smiles back.

“Please tell Yongguk-hyung to text me back,” he says. He looks so earnest Hyunbin feels just a bit sorry for him.

“Er, I’ll, uh, try.”

He walks past a clingy Seonho, hanging off the back of an agitated looking Minhyun and a lonely looking Samuel, who is staring at his phone longingly. Hyunbin feels an underlying sense of guilt when he sees Samuel’s expression. He ruffles his hair as he walks by.

“Cheer up Muel-ah.”  
Hyunbin regrets this immediately because Samuel jumps and lets out a loud “Oh my _God_ ,” clutching at his chest.

“Ah, you startled me Hyunbin-hyung,” he says.

“Yeah, I can see that.”  
He gives Samuel a parting pat on the head and makes his way to his classroom. He’s sure Samuel’s face is still stuck in a permanently surprised expression. The chatter dies down instantly when their teacher walks in. Class starts and Hyunbin feels himself starting to lose focus. He hopes lunch comes quickly.

\----  
Unsurprisingly, lunch comes slowly but without fuss. He heads up to the roof to meet with the regular group and works hard to squish down any agitation he has. When he reaches the top of the stairs he can see Sanggyun already outside through the tiny glass window in the door. Sanggyun is laughing at something and Hyunbin can hear it even through the door. He’s caught staring moments later when he feels a hand on his lower back.

“Whatcha starin’ at Hyunbinnie?”

Hyunbin jolts.

“ _Sh-_ ”

“Don’t curse.”

“- _it!_ You scared me Taehyun-hyung.”  
“I said don’t curse.”  
“Sorry hyung.”

Taehyun lets out an overdramatic sigh.

“I suppose I’ll have to forgive you. So, whatcha waitin’ for? Let’s go eat lunch,” Taehyun says, trying to push past Hyunbin.

“N-Not quite yet hyung. Just. One more second.”  
Taehyun gives him a strange look.

“You’re being weird Hyunbin-ah.”  
Taehyun pushes past him and opens the door.

“Taehyun!” Donghan cries.

“Aigo, let go of me you giant tree!”

Sanggyun is laughing at them and Hyunbin tries to avoid looking at him. He takes a seat in between Yongguk and Taedong and turns to his left.

“Yongguk-hyung, Shihyun told me that I should tell you to text him back.”

Yongguk is on his phone, not even looking at Hyunbin.  
“I don’t know anybody with that name,” Yongguk says flippantly, tapping away. Hyunbin rolls his eyes with a sigh.

“I tried.”

Taedong gives him a supportive pat on the back and Kenta smiles at him encouragingly. Taehyun and Donghan are bickering as Donghan wraps his limbs around Taehyun’s significantly smaller frame.  
“Somebody help me,” Taehyun whines, and finally Kenta takes pity on him and stands up to attempt to help. Hyunbin is in the middle of laughing at them when he catches the corner of Sanggyun’s eye. Sanggyun’s stare is crisp and analytical. When he gets caught the tips of his ears begin to redden. Hyunbin coughs and looks away.

It seems that Kenta’s assistance has helped, because Taehyun has extracted himself from Donghan’s grip and has taken a dramatic seat next to Sanggyun.

“Aish, can’t believe I deal with you Donghan-ah.”

Taehyun turns to look at Sanggyun.

“Ah! Your ears are so red Sanggyun!”  
Everybody turns now to look at him.

“They are not!” Sanggyun says hotly, but the redness of his ears is starting to bleed onto his face and soon he’s brightly flushed pink.

“Cuu~ute,” Donghan says, poking at a warm cheek. Sanggyun bats away the hand.

“Fuck off,” Sanggyun says.

“Not in front of the kids!” Taehyun gasps, and just like that the moment has passed. They start talking about anything and everything, devolving into laughter several times. The rest of lunch goes by without much more excitement past Yongguk again ignoring his buzzing phone and Kenta finally convincing him to text back Shihyun once.

\----  
It’s the middle of seventh period and Hyunbin is in one of the stalls when two people bang into the bathroom dramatically.

“So what was with you today?”

The voice is familiar, one that Hyunbin knows well.

“Nothing, Taehyun.”

Hyunbin slows his breath. He hopes they haven’t realized somebody is in a stall.

“Bullshit. We both know you were acting weird today. C’mon Sanggyun-ah, you can tell me.”  
It’s quiet for a few moments.

“H…Hyunbin-ah confessed to me yesterday.”  
“Aigo, really?”

“Yeah.”

“…I don’t know what to do Taehyun. Hyunbin-ah and I are good friends…”

“…well...are you interested in him?”  
“We’re…I…he’s such a good friend. I mean, I know he’s good looking, I’m not blind, he just…I’m just…he’s my friend, you know? Like…can I even think of him like that?”

Taehyun frowns.

“Try…imagining a date with him. What would you do?”

Sanggyun closes his eyes and scrunches his eyebrows together.

“Er…well…we’d probably get coffee…and then go to the park. He’d…ask me for rap advice and then…I dunno. We’d go home.”

“That doesn’t sound like a date Sanggyun.”

“…I…yeah I know.”

“Imagine kissing him.”  
In the stall, Hyunbin tries not to squeak as his face grows hot. There’s silence, and Hyunbin assumes Sanggyun is trying to imagine them kissing. After a few moments of silence there’s an audible, weary sigh.

“I can’t.”  
Ah. There it is. Hyunbin knew that this was coming eventually. He can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt, that Sanggyun can’t think of them together when he’s imagined it so many times before. Outside, Taehyun hums.

“Well. There’s your answer.”

“…yah Taehyun, what do I tell him? He’s gonna be crushed.”  
“You have to tell him the truth Sanggyunnie.”

A groan.  
“Yeah. You’re right. Thanks, Taehyun.”

Taehyun pats him on the back.

“Of course, Gyunnie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

There’s shuffling and Hyunbin hears the two exit. He checks his phone for the time and figures he should return to class as well. He washes his hands slowly and reenters the classroom as quietly as he can.

“You were gone for a while there Hyunbin,” the teacher says.

“Sorry,” Hyunbin mumbles. “Stomach problems.”

“Hm. We’re on page 428 in the textbook.”  
Hyunbin sits at his desk, and for the first time, starts to focus on his class work.

\----  
The day ends as unawkward as it began, but now Hyunbin is trying even harder to avoid Sanggyun, to delay the inevitable rejection. He isn’t sure he’s ready to hear Sanggyun turn him down and his heart sinks when he sees the shorter male approaching him near the school gates.

“Hey Hyunbin-ah, let’s go to the park.”  
Hyunbin contemplates telling Sanggyun he’s too tired, but his pride won’t let him run away.

“Sure hyung.”

Sanggyun tries to start up a conversation but it comes out stilted and awkward. Hyunbin is giving him short, one-word answers and eventually Sanggyun stops trying. They walk in silence the rest of the way. When they arrive, they go to the swings like usual, dropping their backpacks to the side.

“So…Hyunbin-ah…I’ve been doing some thinking.”

Hyunbin grunts.

“…I…I think we should give it a go.”

“…ah?”  
“I…we should…let’s go on a date Hyunbin-ah.”  
Hyunbin is hardly breathing.

“I…hyung…are you for rea-are you-I, uh, I mean-what the fuck am I saying, yeah, yeah, that sounds great! Yes! Okay! Let’s go on a date hyung!”

Sanggyun is chuckling now, eyes tiny crescents and laugh obnoxiously loud.

“How about this weekend? We can meet at that one café, noon, on Saturday? Nothing fancy, just wear casual clothes, yeah?”  
“I…yes! I can’t believe that-I-yes! Saturday! I’m, uh, I’m gonna go home now hyung!” Hyunbin says. He’s pink in the face but grinning and he leans over on the swings lightning quick and gives Sanggyun a peck on the cheek. Sanggyun’s face heats as flushes red.

“Bye hyung!” Hyunbin calls, dashing away laughing. Sanggyun can’t help but smile as Hyunbin jogs away, eventually breaking out into a full blow run. He’s a tiny speck in the distance in minutes but Sanggyun can still hear his loud whoop from where he’s sitting. He’s still giggling a bit when he feels a wet droplet on his cheek and looks up only to be greeted with grey skies and stormy clouds.

 _Perfect_ , Sanggyun thinks.

It starts to pour.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first some good stuff. then some not so good stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. i know i should be working on other things but...i just love JBJ too much. please support these boys

The week passes faster than Hyunbin had anticipated, and before he’s fully aware, it’s Saturday morning and he’s yet to choose an outfit for his date. Sanggyun had said to wear something casual, nothing fancy. Hyunbin observes his prospects, spread out all over his bed. He finds himself dialing a familiar number and is greeted with a groan.

“Hyunbin-ah, why are you calling me. It’s Saturday, I want to sleep in.”  
“Sorry Taehyun-hyung, but I really need help choosing an outfit.”  
“Hnngh, why, what’s the occasion?”  
“I’m going on a date hyung, I can’t tell you who. Please just help.”

Another groan.

“Aigo, fine. Wear…those dark wash jeans. The nice ones. And your grey sweater. That looks good on you.”  
Hyunbin rustles through the pile of clothing on his bed and picks out the suggested items, staring at them with a keen eye.

“Okay. Thanks, hyung, I really owe you!”

“Aish, you kids are a pain. I’m going back to sleep. Have fun on your date Hyunbinnie,” Taehyun says, and with a click, he’s gone. Hyunbin beams as he looks at the cozy looking knit sweater and the dark jeans. It’s effortlessly stylish. He should’ve thought of it himself. As a part-time clothing model, he feels ashamed. He slowly begins putting away his unchosen clothing, refolding pants and hanging up his shirts. It takes longer than expected, and he hurriedly rushes to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

He dries himself off quickly with a towel and throws on his clothing, brushing his teeth and blow drying his hair simultaneously. Any other time and he would be impressed by his multitasking skills, but now he’s just feeling rushed. He still manages to make it to the café on time, and he grins as he sees Sanggyun lounging inside at a table. He already has a hot drink in front of him in a cute, pastel green mug. Hyunbin can see the steam rising from it, wispy and plentiful. He enters the café and the bell on the door jingles.

“Welcome!” a worker calls. Hyunbin smiles at her as she bows politely and he gives her a head nod back. Sanggyun has spotted him too and is all smiles.

“Hi hyung,” he says.

“Hey.”  
“Were you waiting long?”  
“Nah, I just got my drink. Why don’t you go order something, yeah?”  
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”  
He ends up getting a hot Americano and a blueberry muffin he figures he can share with Sanggyun. When his drink and muffin are brought over Hyunbin moves the muffin towards the middle.

“I got it to split,” he says earnestly. He takes the given fork and begins cutting it down the middle. Sanggyun’s smile is fond and his eyes warm.

“That’s really nice of you Hyunbin-ah.”  
Hyunbin blushes.  
“I…I’m a good date, okay?”

Sanggyun laughs.

“Yeah, you are.”  
They eat their muffin and drink their coffee and talk about the week. Hyunbin recounts a story animatedly of catching little Daehwi with a poorly hidden hickey on the right side of his neck and the two speculate about who could have left it for a while before settling on the fact that there’s no way Daehwi could have a hickey, so it must be an unfortunately located bug bite.

Sanggyun tells Hyunbin about another one of Park Seongwoo’s failures as a teacher’s aide, the number of mistakes easily reaching into double digits by now. This time Seongwoo had spilled ink on a batch of handouts for the class, and their poor teacher Yoon Jisung had just shook his head and tutted like a mother before mysteriously producing a second set of handouts for the class. Sanggyun reveals that he suspects Jisung had prepared a second set of handouts just in case because he knew Seongwoo would inevitably make a mistake.

They chat more about the happenings of the week and soon their mugs are empty and the muffin has been reduced to just crumbs. That’s when they figure it’s time to go and Hyunbin is feeling a little unsure about what to do next.

“Let’s go to the arcade,” Sanggyun suggests. It’s a good idea, one Hyunbin wishes he had thought of himself.

“Great idea hyung,” he says. They walk casually to the arcade, only three blocks away. Halfway through the first block and Hyunbin is getting fidgety. He keeps glancing at Sanggyun’s hand, limp at his side, empty. Hyunbin must have been too focused on just the hand because he jolts when the hand moves to clasp his own and Hyunbin looks up to find Sanggyun staring at him with an amused mile. Hyunbin is sure his face is glowing hot, but he grips Sanggyun’s hand tight. His hand is warm when they arrive at the arcade.

\----

It’s surprisingly empty when they get there.

“There’ll be a larger influx at night,” Sanggyun whispers to Hyunbin. Hyunbin nods along and tries not to frown when he and Sanggyun’s hands have to separate. They spend a few minutes at the exchange machine bickering until Hyunbin finally accepts the fact that Sanggyun will be buying them both tokens and will not be accepting payment back.  
“Hyunbin-ah, I’m your hyung, let me treat you.”  
“Sanggyun-hyung, I’m your date, let _me_ treat _you_.”  
“Aigo, kids these days,” Sanggyun says with an overdramatic sigh. “Nope, I’m treating you, end of story.”

He hands Hyunbin a handful of coins. They hold eye contact for a couple of beats until Hyunbin lets out an exasperated sigh and turns his head.

“Ha. I win,” Sanggyun says with a cheeky wink.

“Shut up, I’m still more handsome,” Hyunbin grumbles.

“Aigo!” Sanggyun clutches at his heart. “Kids these days, so cruel.”

His look of pain devolves into laughter quickly and Hyunbin rolls his eyes at Sanggyun’s antics. They start with a motorcycle racing game that Hyunbin wins two out of three, then move on to a dancing game that they are both awful at. They end up both failing before the song even ends.

The rhythm game they play next is surprisingly difficult, but Sanggyun still wins by a mile. Finally, with only a few coins left, they go to a crane game. Hyunbin points to a cheap looking plastic bracelet.

“Hyung, I want it!”

“Aish, fine.”

It takes him four tries and Sanggyun uses up the rest of their coins, but he finally manages to get the beaded trinket. Sanggyun fits it around Hyunbin’s slender wrist with red ears and a grin. Hyunbin’s smile is threatening to usurp his whole face. They leave the arcade and Hyunbin notices that the sky is starting to darken. They were there longer than he thought.

“C’mon, let’s get you home. I’ll walk ya,” Sanggyun says.  
“Okay.”  
This time, Hyunbin confidently threads their fingers together. Sanggyun gives him a look, but doesn’t make a comment as Hyunbin’s grip tightens.

“Your hands are warm hyung.”  
“I have good circulation.”  
When Hyunbin looks at him again, Sanggyun seems to be deep in thought. They walk in silence the rest of the way to Hyunbin’s home.

“Here we are,” Sanggyun says.

“Here we are,” Hyunbin echoes. He releases Sanggyun’s hand. “I had a nice time Sanggyun.”

“Yeah.” Sanggyun smiles, gentle and small. “Me too.”  
“I’ll…see you later hyung.”  
“Mmhmm. Night Hyunbin-ah.”

Sanggyun’s just about to turn when Hyunbin leans forward and plants his lips on his. Sanggyun is surprised at first, but soon he sighs through his nose and closes his eyes. In terms of kisses, this one is relatively short, but Hyunbin feels satisfied all the same.

“Goodnight,” Hyunbin says after the kiss finishes, heart racing. He waves as Sanggyun walks away, hands in his pockets. He watches all the way until Sanggyun has disappeared into the night and then enters his home as quietly as possible. His mother glances at him from the kitchen.

“Dinner in twenty minutes,” she tells him. He nods and makes his way to his room, collapsing on his bed face first. His heart is still beating fast.

\----

Hyunbin wakes up to a text first thing in the morning.

_7:04 A.M. Sanggyunnie-hyung: Hey, let’s go to the park_

_7:06 A.M. Me: now??_

_7:06 A.M. Sanggyunnie-hyung: Yeah, let’s go. I’ll meet you there._

_7:07 A.M. Me: aish, fine._

Hyunbin groans as he scrubs a hand over his face and throws the covers off him. He’s groggy as he puts on a worn red sweatshirt and a pair of frayed, ripped jeans. He brushes his teeth half-heartedly but revels in the minty taste as he spits into his porcelain sink. His home is still completely silent when he leaves, and his front door closes with an almost inaudible click. He shivers a bit at the crisp morning air and begins his walk to the park.

Sanggyun is already at the swings by the time he arrives. He looks like he hasn’t put much effort into his outfit either, clad in navy sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. Hyunbin takes a seat in the other swing and turns.

“Hi.”  
Sanggyun doesn’t respond straight away, and he doesn’t make a move to look at Hyunbin either. He’s clutching his phone in his hands and Hyunbin notices his knuckles are nearly white.

“I…I had a really good time yesterday Hyunbin-ah.”  
“Mm.”  
There’s a sinking feeling in Hyunbin’s gut.

“I don’t…I don’t want you to misunderstand. I had fun, really.”  
“Mm.”  
“I just…I can’t…I’m sorry…I’m sorry, but I…I just don’t see you like that. I thought we could try and maybe it would work but. It just. _I_ just. It’s not you Hyunbin-ah, you’re great. It’s _me-_ ”

“Hey.” Hyunbin cuts him off. “It’s fine. I should’ve…I dunno…expected this. It’s okay hyung.”

“I just…you’re such a good friend. I don’t want to lose that Hyunbin-ah.”  
“It’s okay. Nothing will change. Just…pretend I never said anything. Saturday…was just a, uh, a friendly outing…”

Sanggyun is giving Hyunbin a worried stare, but Hyunbin isn’t looking up. Sanggyun is pretending he doesn’t hear the sniffles.

“I’m gonna go home now hyung. I…yeah, just pretend I didn’t say anything.”  
Sanggyun can’t do much else but watch Hyunbin’s figure slowly disappear into the distance. The morning air suddenly doesn’t feel as refreshing and Sanggyun shudders uncomfortably. Grey clouds start to crowd in on Sanggyun’s vision and he gets up. He feels a drop on his cheek, a shock of ice on top of the already chilly day.

He’s soaked to the bone by the time he gets back to his own house. His mother berates him for tracking water into the home, but Sanggyun doesn’t pay attention. He strips off his drenched clothing when he gets to his room and stares out the window.

It’s started to storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading another chapter of the high school au literally nobody asked for. JBJ boys are truly the best tho. stay tuned if you'd like


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fight night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaa...this chapter makes me laugh.

Hyunbin is somber the next morning. His eyes are still slightly swollen and are surrounded by dark circles from lack of sleep. Shihyun doesn’t even try to ask when he sees him at his locker, just gives him a reassuring hug and a sad smile.

“It’s okay Hyunbin. Me too. Me too.”  
He doesn’t have to elaborate to know that Hyunbin understands. Classes seems to zip by fast and Hyunbin is lost in his thoughts the whole time. All the subjects blur together, one after another. Before he knows it, it’s lunch. He’s contemplating going to sit with his old friends again at their regular table when Donghan spots him and shuffles him up the stairs to the roof, rambling on about Yongguk’s odd love of cats.

To say it was tense would be an understatement. Hyunbin isn’t even glancing in Sanggyun’s direction, and he hardly speaks at all during lunch. Sanggyun is shoveling food into his mouth like a human garbage disposal and his focus on Hyunbin is laser sharp. It’s like he’s testing out the idea that maybe if he stares hard enough, he’ll be able to read his mind. The rest of the group are exchanging worried looks and Taehyun nods.

“Sanggyunnie, I need some help with a rap. Let’s go over there.”  
It’s an obvious ploy, especially because they all know Taehyun doesn’t rap, but Sanggyun is so preoccupied with staring at Hyunbin he doesn’t notice the oddness of the statement. He blinks a few times and turns his head towards Taehyun.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever.”

They move to a corner of the roof and Hyunbin doesn’t even look up to watch. In the corner Taehyun is talking rapidly in a hushed voice.

“What did you do to Hyunbin? Did you turn him down? Were you mean? Is that why he’s so sad?”  
“I…no. I just…we went on a date.”  
Taehyun frowns.

“That’s messed up Sanggyun.”  
“Yeah, I uh, realized that later. Hindsight.  But the whole time, I was just thinking about how this felt like a normal friend outing. How it didn’t really feel like a date. And then I tried imagining kissing him, or cuddling, or giving him pet names, and I just _couldn’t_.”  
Taehyun’s frown deepens.

“You should apologize. You lead him on. He thought he had a shot. Why the fuck didn’t you just turn him down?”  
“I…I don’t know.”  
“That was so fuckin’ selfish Sanggyun. Like, shit Gyun…he was...he thought…”  
“I-I know.”

“Just…apologize.”  
“Mm.”

They come back to the group. It’s still uncomfortably silent, tense in a way it hasn’t been for ages. Nobody talks and eventually everybody finishes their lunch in silence. Hyunbin’s eyes are still downcast as he packs up his lunch bag. On the stairs, Sanggyun bumps their shoulders together.

“Let’s go to the park today.”

“I’m…not really interested in going to the park today hyung.”  
“Please Hyunbin.”

A slow exhale.

“Okay.”

Hyunbin’s classes after lunch are similar to the ones in the morning, blurry and indistinguishable. He waits for Sanggyun near the school gates and watches students pass by. Hyunbin spots Sanggyun amongst the mass.

“Ready to go?”

Hyunbin hums.

“Great.”  
They walk in silence. Sanggyun doesn’t try to start a conversation and Hyunbin is grateful. When they arrive, they go the swings like every other time, clockwork and expected. They sit on the swings in silence for a couple moments, the iron chains clinking together being the only thing breaking the quiet.

“…Hyunbin. I…I want to say…sorry. I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s fine hyung.”  
“No. No it’s not fine. I lead you on, that’s fucked up Hyunbin, _I_ fucked up.”

“Hyung, it’s fine.”  
“No! I treated you like shit, like some…I dunno, like an experiment. And I’m so fucking sorry Hyunbin. You weren’t an experiment. You’re-you’re not.”

“ _Sanggyun_. Stop. It’s fine.”

Sanggyun starts and then runs a shaky hand through his hair.  
“…you’re gonna find someone who’ll treat you better than me. You _deserve_ somebody better than me Hyunbin.”

“…”  
“I’m truly sorry.”  
“…I’m going home now hyung.”  
“…okay.”

Hyunbin gets up from the swing and it squeaks in protest. He walks away, head down. His feet are heavier than he’s ever remembered. He doesn’t have to turn around to know Sanggyun is watching him. When he gets home he heads to his room immediately and takes a seat on his bed. He breathes slow and deep. He sits for a long time.

\----  
When he wakes up the next morning, Hyunbin prepares to hide his emotions and exude the aura of “being fine.” And it works, almost too well. Shihyun seems suspicious at his lockers, but there’s not enough time of interaction for him to question it. Hyunbin gives him a wide grin and a wave and Shihyun is left confused.

He focuses extra hard in class writing a new rap. The teacher drones on and he writes and writes and writes. Lunch comes too quickly for him to finish, and he looks over the lines he’s written as he walks to the roof. He’s the second to arrive, Yongguk already sprawled on his back in the sun, eyes closed. He opens one eye to peer at Hyunbin.

“Hey.”  
Hyunbin takes a seat next to him, crossing his legs and looking up at the sun.

“Hi.”  
Taehyun is next, loud and abrasive. Donghan follows not too far behind and then Kenta. Hyunbin doesn’t even notice Taedong, his quiet personality overshadowed by Donghan and Taehyun’s bickering. Sanggyun is last, face somber. It looks like he didn’t sleep last night if the bags under his eyes are any indication.

“Sanggyun-hyung! Will you look over this rap?” Hyunbin asks. Sanggyun seems bewildered at the question.

“Uh, yeah, sure! If you, uh, if you’re okay with that,” he says cautiously. Hyunbin hands him a crinkled paper covered in messy writing. Sanggyun looks it over, mouthing the words to himself, head nodding to a silent beat.

“…this is good Hyunbin. It’s…this is good.”

Hyunbin decides not to tell Sanggyun that it’s about him.

\----  
It’s after all his classes when Hyunbin starts to tire. His façade is starting to fade, the exhaustion of playing pretend creeping up on him. He goes outside to where the big tree is and slumps down. The grass is soft and just a bit damp. There’s a lazy breeze and the bark feels rough on his back even through his uniform. This is where Taehyun finds him.

“Hey Hyunbin-ah.”  
Hyunbin looks up.

“Ah. Hey hyung.”

Taehyun sighs and takes a seat next to him. He turns.  
“So. What’s up?”

A beat and then it all comes crashing down. Hyunbin stars to sob, tears streaming down his face, nose running. Taehyun hugs him and rubs his back comfortingly as Hyunbin soaks his shoulder. Hyunbin doesn’t notice Sanggyun watching them. Taehyun does. He shakes his head and narrows his eyes, a challenge, a dare. Sanggyun walks away.

Hyunbin cries and cries and cries until there are no more and he’s left dry-heaving, salty tear tracks staining his cheeks. Taehyun’s hands are oven hot against his back, rubbing back and forth. In the outside walkway behind the arches Sanggyun leans back against the cold stone and exhales.

\----  
At school the next day Hyunbin approaches Shihyun at lunch.

“Hey.”  
Shihyun turns his head and cocks it to the side.

“Hey.”  
“…so I have a proposition.”

“…ah?”  
“Listen…you’re miserable. I’m miserable. Let’s be miserable together.”  
It’s not the most eloquent of confessions, but Shihyun seems to get the gist of it. Misery does love company after all. And at least it’ll be a distraction from the hopeless loves they’ve gotten themselves into.

“…okay.”

Hyunbin grips his hand, ice cold, and drags him to the roof. He tries not to think of Sanggyun’s hand, how it had been warm and comforting, such a stark contrast to the one he’s holding now. Nobody questions the fact that Hyunbin has brought an outsider to lunch, not even Yongguk, who spends a solid ten minutes glaring at Shihyun. Sanggyun is suspiciously mum on the topic.

“Me and Shihyun are dating now. He’ll be coming to lunch with me.”  
Sanggyun’s head whips towards him, face flickering from quiet acceptance to surprise.  
“What? Huh? The fuc-I mean. Uh. Great, awesome, that’s fine. I’m, er, happy for you,” he finishes awkwardly. Hyunbin gives him a tight-lipped smile. Nobody else tries to congratulate him.

“I’m…I uh, I need to piss. Uh. Be right back,” Sanggyun says. Looks are exchanged around the group. Hyunbin avoids eye contact and Shihyun blinks confusedly.

“Aigo, fine, I’ll go after him you wimps,” Taehyun groans. “I hate being the hyung.” He shoves his hands in his pockets as he stands and heads off down the stairs to find Sanggyun. Hyunbin’s tightens his hold on Shihyun’s hand. His fingers begin to numb.

“…so…uh…I’m really happy for you,” Kenta says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, can’t believe you managed to even get a date Hyunbin.”

This causes everyone to break out into laughs and the last of the tension diffuses.

“Hey, don’t laugh at that. I’m a total catch. Hey, guys…”

\----  
Taehyun finds Sanggyun in the stairwell, slumped over and head down.

“Sup,” he starts. Sanggyun looks up. His face looks paler than what could be considered healthy.

“What’s going on with you?”

Sanggyun doesn’t respond.

“What is your issue, man? You’re acting weird. ”  
Sanggyun’s gaze turns down again. Taehyun seethes.

“Aren’t you happy for Hyunbin? He’s moving on.”  
“…I…”  
“Well?”

“I…”

“Spit it out Sanggyun.”  
“ _Fuck_ Taehyun, I don’t know, okay?”

“You were the one who turned him down Sanggyun. You can’t be angry that he’s moving on.”  
“…yeah. Yeah I know.”

Taehyun gives him a final withering glare.

“…c’mon. Let’s get back to the group.”

He stretches out a hand and heaves Sanggyun up. Shihyun and Hyunbin are exceedingly close when they return, hands still intertwined and Shihyun’s head resting on Hyunbin’s shoulder. Sanggyun focuses heavy on the fact that this is what’s best for Hyunbin. That he _wants_ the best for Hyunbin.

Conversations surround Sanggyun, but he says nothing, eyes stuck on Hyunbin and Shihyun. They’re laughing, sharing light-hearted jibes and playful shoves. Sanggyun is sick sick _sick_.

“Ah, you’re so stupid Hyunbinnie. Such an idiot,” Shihyun says. It’s a jest, a joke. Sanggyun sees red all the same. Before he knows it, he’s standing, yanking Shihyun up by the collar of his button-up. The fabric wrinkles easily. He knows that Kenta is yelling something, but all he can hear is his heartbeat and the persistent buzz that only comes from rage.

“The he-”

Sanggyun doesn’t even realize his fist flying forward. He feels sticky liquid on the tips of his fingers.

“ _Shit!”_ Taehyun calls, dashing over to Shihyun. He surveys him like a mother, tilting his head back and peering at his nose. It’s bleeding, but not heavily, and a bruise is forming underneath his right eye, already purple and blue.

“What the hell Sanggyun?!” Hyunbin asks. His voice is bordering on a shout.

“He was-he-I-…Nobody says that shit about you.”

“Hyung! We say that sorta stuff to each other all the time. We say things that are worse! It was a joke! You didn’t have to fucking punch him.”

Sanggyun is huffing angrily, his heart is throbbing in his chest like it wants to escape. The blood is drying on his hand, coagulating and becoming tacky.

“I’ll take Shihyun to the nurse,” Yongguk says. His voice is even but his fists are curled, shaking in anger. He gives Sanggyun a fierce glare but says nothing.

“…let’s go get you cleaned up Sanggyun-hyung,” Hyunbin says. He grabs his jacket sleeve and begins dragging him to the stairs. Sanggyun’s breath is still coming in desperate pants. The walk to the bathroom is strained and quiet.

“What is your problem?” Hyunbin asks. He turns on a sink and brings Sanggyun’s hand under the cold water. It pinks as the blood washes down the drain.

“…I don’t know, I just…what he said just...I’m not sure.”  
“That wasn’t anything different than usual hyung.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s…I...it’s just…he’s your boyfriend. He should treat you with more respect.”  
“Jesus hyung. Take it down a couple notches, okay? He’s not abusive or anything. We joke around just like the rest of the guys. It’s nothing serious.”

“Yeah. I overreacted. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me.”

“Yeah. I’ll talk to him.”

Sanggyun’s hand is clean, but blood is still caked under his fingernails.

“Let’s go back.”

The atmosphere on the roof is completely different when they return. It seems Yongguk and Shihyun are still at the nurse because their spots are empty and their lunches abandoned. Hyunbin sits immediately, but Sanggyun shuffles awkwardly before sitting a little further away. The only sounds are the chewing of food. When Yongguk and Shihyun return, Shihyun’s nose is clear of blood and bandaged neatly. His bruise has darkened significantly, a deep navy. His cheek is swollen and puffy. He’s holding a bag of ice to it that’s starting to melt and dampen his cheek. Sanggyun stands. He looks Shihyun right in the eye.

“I’m deeply sorry,” he says, bowing low. “My actions were inappropriate and uncalled for. I hope that you will forgive me in the future.”

Sanggyun isn’t expecting much, but he looks up in confusion as Shihyun begins to laugh. It’s loud, and seems even louder in the surrounding silence. The whole group is confused.

“Ahaha, jeez. Don’t worry, already forgotten. It’s okay Sanggyun-ah.” He walks up close to him, lips right next to his ear. His voice is a whisper, but it still makes Sanggyun falter. “Love makes you do strange things, hm?”

But Sanggyun isn’t left any time to decipher the cryptic message because the bell rings, signaling lunch to be over. As the group exits down the stairs, typical chatter and giggling fill the stairwell. Yongguk even bumps against him, affectionate and playful. It seems all has been forgiven after all.

Sanggyun wonders how he managed to land friends like these.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man it's so angsty. How do I even write this


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiyo. here's chapter 4

Nearly a month has passed from Sanggyun’s outburst, and Shihyun has, much to the annoyance of Yongguk, fit into their ragtag group almost seamlessly. He’s still dating Hyunbin, but they’ve toned down the affection (not like there was much to begin with) by several degrees. Sanggyun seems thankful at the very least.

When a new teacher steps into the classroom, Hyunbin is confused.

“Hello,” he says. “I am your new teacher Lee Seokhoon. I will work hard to replace your former teacher. Mr. Kim sends his regards from the hospital.”

Hyunbin wonders silently if now is really the best time for a replacement. Final exams are just around the corner, and then the coveted summer break. He supposes it doesn’t really matter as he doesn’t have any say on it anyways.

“Today, we will begin reviewing material for your final exams…”

The class groans in unison. Well, at least Mr. Seokhoon’s voice is nice.

\----  
“We got a new teacher today,” Hyunbin announces around a mouth of egg roll.

“Ah? How are they?” Shihyun asks. The group stares expectantly at Hyunbin.  
“He’s okay. He has a nice voice.”

“’obably a singer,” Taedong notes, voice muffled by rice. Kenta nods his assent.

“Not everybody with a nice voice are singers,” Taehyun says.

“Yeah, take Hyunbin for example-OW! Mean, Hyunbin-ah!” Donghan cries, rubbing his shoulder. The group laughs.

“Hey! Don’t laugh at my pain.”

That only seems to make them laugh harder. Hyunbin can hear Sanggyun’s over all the others and tries to convince himself it’s just because Sanggyun has a really loud laugh. It’s not like he can pick out his voice in a crowd or anything.

They move on to laughing at Sanggyun’s exaggerated telling of Sungwoo tripping over a student’s foot and falling on his face. Jisung had to take him to the nurse yet again, and by the time he was back there was only 10 minutes left of class.

“Ah, Sungwoo is such an idiot,” Donghan laughs.

“Pfft, we all know Boa just keeps him around ‘cause he’s hot.” A sigh. “Ah, honestly, so sexy.”  
The laughter pewters out as all of them turn to gaze at Taehyun.

“…what? Was it something I said? Do I have rice on my face?”

He starts patting at his cheeks, feeling for any stray grains.

“…we just…” Taedong starts.

“We just didn’t know you…er…had those inclinations,” Donghan says. Taehyun looks confused.

“Huh? But I…I always talk about how attractive other men are.”

“Yeah, but…you never use words like ‘hot’ or ‘sexy.’ It’s normal to call good-looking men ‘attractive’ or ‘handsome.’ But…‘hot’ just has a different feel,” Taedong explains.

“Well…that seems stupid,” Taehyun laughs. “But…yeah. I, uh, I think men are attractive? Um, I guess…er, sexually?”

Donghan reddens.

“That’s…that’s a great way to put it hyung. Very, um, subtle.”

Taehyun gives him a push.

“Shut up Donghannie.”  
“Okay.”

Yongguk is giving Taehyun a look that seems to be a mixture of respect and surprise. Taedong is nodding encouragingly and Hyunbin is trying to convey his support through a particularly intense stare. Shihyun’s eyes are shining and his grin is wide.

“I’m so glad you came out to us,” he gushes.

“It’s not a big deal,” Taehyun says, blushing. “I thought you all knew.”  
“Apparently not.” Sanggyun shrugs. Stray lettuce is caught on the side of his mouth. Kenta rolls his eyes and uses a napkin he pulls from who knows where to wipe it away. Taehyun finds this far too hilarious and lets out an obnoxious guffaw.

“You’re such a mom Kenta.”  
“Oh shush,” Kenta says, but he doesn’t deny it. The bell rings and they leave the roof like usual. Hyunbin interlocks his fingers with Shihyun and feels the familiar warmth of gratitude in his chest. He really likes his friends.

\----  
Exams start far too early in Hyunbin’s opinion. Lunches have lost their casual appeal and are now filled with the turning of pages and the light scratch of pencil on paper. Home is a similar situation and Hyunbin makes the exciting discovery that yes, he really can survive on snacks alone.

When Mr. Seokhoon hands out the first exam, Hyunbin figures he’s as ready as he’ll ever be. His pencils lay before him, a brand new pink eraser on the other side, neat and organized, something even Minhyun-hyung would be proud of.

He feels relief when he reads the questions. He understands every single one. He takes this as a sign that cramming really is effective and Yongguk-hyung obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says “reviewing the material every night”. His pencil is moving fast, scribbling answers easily. He finishes before most other students and begins to check over his work. The bell chimes and the first exam is over. If they’re all like this, Hyunbin is sure he’ll be just fine.

Lunch break is a relief and he goes up to the roof to meet with the group.

“Aish, and I think I bombed my second exam,” Sanggyun whines.  
“Oh shut up, you probably just barely passed.”  
“Well I thought it was easy,” Yongguk brags.

“Shut up Mr. I-draw-cats-in-the-margins but still get the highest marks.”

“I can’t help that I’m a genius,” he says flippantly.

“Fuck off,” Sanggyun says, but there’s no heat. Hyunbin smiles. His friends really are the best. Shihyun falls on his shoulder.

“I’m going to nap. Wake me up when lunch ends Hyunbinnie.”

Hyunbin smiles fondly.

“Sure.”

Even though they’re dating, it still feels more casual than anything he’s ever experienced. They hardly do more than hold hands and hug. Hyunbin can count on one hand how many times they’ve kissed on the lips. He suspects it has something to do with the fact that they always seem to be under the watchful eye of Yongguk. But the slow pace doesn’t bother him, and he eats his lunch trying to move as little as possible.

Shihyun groans when Hyunbin shakes him awake.

“Round two of exams!” Taedong cries. He seems too excited about this.

“Calm down,” Kenta says. Chastising. Parent-like. “Don’t yell in the stairwell. It’ll echo.”

Hyunbin gives Shihyun’s hand a parting squeeze and then shuffles into his classroom. His pencils are still on his desk, right where he left them. He picks one up and rolls it between his fingers.

_Only 2 more exams today._

\----  
He’s bone tired at the end, but knows he’ll have 3 more exams the following day. And then another day of 3 more exams. But then he’ll be done. Summer break will come, and he’ll be able to spend it with his friends and family, the weight of school lifted temporarily. Only a little more. Only a little.

He starts studying again as soon as he’s home. His stomach rumbles unhappily, so he eats another protein bar to make it calm. It’s not a healthy habit, but he has no time to worry about his diet when more exams are right around the corner.

He looks over material for hours, trying to absorb the information. When he finally slips into his bed his limbs feel heavy and his mind numb. It takes almost no time at all to fall asleep, and even less for him to slip into an all too familiar dream.

\----  
_It’s a spring day. There’s nothing particularly spectacular about it. He’s at the park, but for once it’s not at the swings. He’s on a picnic blanket, a cliché one with red and white checks. An empty basket sits next to him and food filled tupperware is spread around him. He looks up and makes eye contact with the person across from him. His eyes are familiar. Hyunbin smiles._

_“Not bad for a first date, eh?” Sanggyun asks._

_“…no hyung. It’s perfect.”_

_Sanggyun smiles too. It’s soft and affectionate._

_“You know, I really like you Hyunbin.”  
“Me too hyung. I really like you too.”_

_Sanggyun is leaning in, eyes closing. A beeping noise sounds in the distance. Hyunbin starts leaning in too. He can feel Sanggyun’s breath. The beeping is getting louder. Sanggyun’s hand moves to his cheek, it’s soft, not calloused like Hyunbin expected. The beeping is so loud now. Sanggyun’s lips are a hair’s width apart._

Hyunbin opens his eyes and sighs. They were so close. He figures his dreams always stop before the kiss because it couldn’t simulate it. His mind wouldn’t be able to replicate something that hasn’t happened, something that will never happen. Sanggyun would never initiate a kiss. It was Hyunbin who forced one on him after their date. It was Hyunbin who wanted it.

 His alarm blares and he shuts it off unhappily. There’s enough time for a quick shower before he starts his trek to school. He makes the water ice cold and tries to forget that Sanggyun will never kiss him. It’s even harder to consider that Sanggyun will never want to kiss him either.

\----  
The second day of exams is brutal in a way Hyunbin didn’t expect. All the words seem to be blurring together, and Hyunbin can’t concentrate. In the end, the cold shower had still done nothing for his focus. His mind replays his dream like a movie reel.

 _Traitor_ , he thinks.

Lunch is a quiet affair, nothing like the first day. Hyunbin avoids eye contact with Sanggyun. His ears burn every time he imagines his dream again. He’s had it dozens of times now, but he always feels ashamed regardless. Ashamed he’s even allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to kiss Sanggyun, to date him, to be more than just a clingy friend who relies on him for rap advice. His fist clenches and he casts away the thought. He already ruined that. When lunch ends he kisses Shihyun on the lips. It’s the first time in public. It’s a short peck, but the others whistle and catcall. Even Sanggyun looks pleased. Hyunbin pretends he’s not disappointed.

He frets when his pencil runs out of lead in the third exam, but remembers in a clutch moment that Kenta had made him put extra lead in his bag. Relief courses through him, and he makes it through the exam by sheer willpower alone. Mr. Seokhoon bids them goodbye as they shuffle out of the classroom and with a final call he reminds them to study hard. Hyunbin isn’t sure he can last another day like this.

\----  
The third day he wakes up surprisingly rested. He didn’t have any dreams the night before, and his mind feels empty, blank, ready to laser focus on his exams. He showers quick in scalding hot water and rubs a little too roughly at his skin, turning it a light pink. His hair is still a little damp as he sets out for school.

His final exams are easier than expected, but maybe it’s just because he was so distracted the day before. He’s almost certain he aced the first one, but in reality, he still doubts it. He’s never aced anything in his whole life.

Lunch is boisterous today. It seems they’re all thrumming with the excitement of the last day of exams. He eats fast and laughs hard. He throws an arm over Shihyun’s shoulders and ignores the glare from Yongguk. He kisses Shihyun on the lips again today at the end of lunch. It’s longer this time, but still chaste. The group whoops and hollers even louder than before and Shihyun has the decency to look embarrassed. Hyunbin winks cheekily. He’s rewarded with a shove from Shihyun.

\----  
He’s nearly throws his pencil down when he finishes his final exam. He holds back the deep desire to scream and celebrate. He gets a text from Taehyun reminding him of the party tonight. Hyunbin is ready, anywhere there’s free alcohol to be had, he was ready.

As it approaches the time for the party, Hyunbin figures he should change out of his school uniform. He puts on comfortable clothing and decides maybe he should walk in with Shihyun.

_6:00 P.M. Me: Hey, let’s walk to the party together._

It takes almost 20 minutes for Shihyun to respond to him, but it’s no big deal. He probably leads a more interesting, busy life than Hyunbin anyways.

_6:20 P.M. Kim Shihyun: Okay._

_6:22 P.M. Me: Meet at my place. I’ll text you the address._

It takes longer than Hyunbin expected for Shihyun to get from the dorms to his home, but he figures maybe he had to do some other things before heading over. When the bell rings Hyunbin lets him in immediately before escorting Shihyun to his room.

 “Here we are.”  
“Ah, it’s surprisingly neat.”

Hyunbin shrugs.

“I guess.”

They both move to sit on the bed.

“So how were your exams?” Shihyun asks.

“Not bad, not bad…”

Hyunbin shifts awkwardly. He can’t stand this uncomfortable silence. Shihyun is looking at him through his eyelashes.

“Hyunbin…”

“Mm?”  
“Am I handsome?”

Hyunbin is taken aback, but only a little.

“…yeah. You’re pretty handsome.”  
“And how’s my personality?”  
Hyunbin thinks hard and scrunches his eyebrows.

“Your personality is good too.”

“Am I dumb? Am I stupid Hyunbin?”

“N-No. You’re intelligent Shihyun-ah.”

“…then why doesn’t Yongguk like me.”

Hyunbin frowns.

“I’m not sure. But…it’s okay. He’ll come around eventually.”  
Shihyun purses his lips together unhappily and Hyunbin can see his eyes growing watery.

“…let’s go to the party and get wasted,” Shihyun says finally.

“…sure. Whatever you want.”  
The party has already started at this point, but Hyunbin figures there’s no harm in being fashionably late. They set off into the cool air and Hyunbin links together their fingers. Shihyun sniffles a bit.

“It’s…it’s just chilly.”  
Hyunbin doesn’t comment on his red rimmed eyes.

“Yeah. It is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope y'all enjoyed. stay tuned?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a party. and then an after party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is fucking insane.

The party is in full swing when Hyunbin arrives. Shihyun is holding his hand but is pulled away almost immediately by a hazy looking Yongguk. Taehyun is krumping in the middle of a cheering crowd, Seonho is passed out on the couch, partially on top of an uncomfortable looking Minhyun, and Woojin and Daehwi are excitedly dancing to TWICE as it blares on overhead speakers.

Hyunbin wanders, wanting to find a quiet corner, wondering why he’s come to the party at all. Normally he’d be the first one to start drinking, but now he just wants to go home. It’s like all his energy has been sapped. He was excited for this party, but now he just feels tired. By the time he’s waded through the mass of people he’s holding a red cup full of something that smells like vodka and fruit punch and a sip later confirms it. He ducks into a relatively quiet but strangely smoky room, but then he takes a deep inhale and realizes what this room is really for.

Dongho is blazed out of his mind and crying heavily as an equally high Johghyun rubs his back. Minki, looking significantly less stoned and is shifting awkwardly. He tries to wave, but Hyunbin’s back is already turned, exiting as quick as he entered. The sound of Dongho’s wails fade in the distance.

He practically runs past Daniel and Seongwu in the hallway, feverishly making out.

“There’s an empty room over there!” he yells at them, and he tries not to blush as he sees the two partially clothed third years stumble over in that direction. A door bangs shut and he knows they’ve found the closet. He feels lucky when he slips into a dark room that seems completely empty. Outside he can hear TWICE change to the blaring bass of Big Bang and chorus of drunken partygoers shout “BANG BANG BANG” enthusiastically.

When he hears a much quieter “bang bang bang” from a dark corner, Hyunbin realizes he isn’t alone. He attempts to turn on the overhead lights, but the switch flicks on and off uselessly. He settles on turning on a standing lamp and registers he’s in a bedroom. He sets his mostly empty red cup on a side dresser and peers in the slightly less dark corner. Ah. It’s Sanggyun. And that’s when Hyunbin discovers another new surprise.

Sanggyun is a sloppy drunk. Hyunbin hasn’t encountered drunk Sanggyun too often, but from what he can recall, Sanggyun cycled through different stages depending on his level of drunkenness. First comes the emotional stage, Sanggyun seems past this already, then the wild party stage, he seems past this one too. And then comes the flirty stage. Hyunbin can see Sanggyun come to recognize him, and when he sidles up to Hyunbin quicker than a drunk person should be able to, Hyunbin knows he’s fucked.

“Heeeeey Hyunbin,” he slurs.

“Hi Sanggyun.”  
“Where have you been all night, eh? I’ve been _waiting_ for you.”

He’s flush against Hyunbin now and has moved from his side to his front. Hyunbin is trying to back away, put any sort of distance between them, but Sanggyun is only following. Hyunbin curses under his breath as he feels his back hit a wall, and Sanggyun is up against him again, left hand on his chest. Hyunbin figures it’s time to use his superior strength to push him away, but when he starts moving his arms, Sanggyun reacts lightning quick. He grabs both wrists and pins them to the wall, eyes cloudy but lips smirking.

“Gotcha~,” he singsongs. Hyunbin tries not to gulp too obviously.  
“Ha. Ha. You should, uh, let go of my wrists hyung.”

He has a nervous smile on his face, but he’s not feeling too hopeful. Sanggyun is too far past sober now to listen to anybody.

“No~ope.” Sanggyun draws out the word and pops the ‘p,’ overexaggerated and excessive. Hyunbin determinedly doesn’t look at his mouth and tries not to think how cute Sanggyun is using English.

“Hey Hyunbin-ah, hey, hey, guess what?”

Sanggyun is leaning in now, lips near his right ear and voice nearly a whisper.

“Wh-What?”  
“No,” he scolds. “You have to guess.”  
“Uh, I…er, you’re going to let me go?”

“Bzzt. Wrong,” Sanggyun laughs. He pulls away from his ear.

“I…I’m not in the mood for games Sanggyun-hyung. Just, just tell me.”

“You’re…” Sanggyun pauses for dramatic effect. “You’re really. Really. Incredibly. Fucking. _Hot_.”

Hyunbin has a sneaking suspicion Sanggyun isn’t talking about body temperature. Hyunbin laughs, tense and fake sounding. He tries not to look too on edge as Sanggyun’s eyes rake over his body unashamedly.

“Ha, that’s uh, that’s nice Sanggyun-hyung. Th-thanks I guess.”  
Sanggyun is nosing at his neck now. He starts sucking a hickey into the side. Hyunbin can feel the smirk as he surveys his work.

“Mm. You’re really sexy Hyunbin-ah. I bet people tell you this all the time. You’re a model after all.”

Hyunbin can feel himself blushing, red blooming on his cheeks. Sanggyun’s hands have moved from his wrists to his chest again, and Hyunbin’s fingers are curled, nails are digging into his palms painfully.

“We should fuck,” Sanggyun says, tone final and confident. Hyunbin isn’t even given the opportunity to respond before Sanggyun is gripping his shirt and pulling him down, lips crashing onto his own. In a different situation Hyunbin would laugh, think it’s funny how Sanggyun has to compensate for Hyunbin’s height. It feels distinctly less funny right now.

Sanggyun kisses like a man starved, like Hyunbin’s lips are the only food left on the planet. It’s aggressive and overbearing, full of teeth and tongue and Hyunbin hasn’t felt this dirty since that school wide food fight in middle school. Sanggyun tastes exactly how Hyunbin had always imagined, smoky and rough with an underlying tang of alcohol. Hyunbin fumbles at the wall for a moment before giving in and sighing into the kiss, eyes fluttering closed. But then the taste of alcohol becomes overwhelming, apparent, so _so_ apparent, and Hyunbin is brought back to reality.

His eyes shoot open and his hands start scrabbling at Sanggyun’s shirt, desperately trying to shove him back. Sanggyun seems to think this is a sign to start removing clothes, and he pauses for a moment to shuck off his shirt. His skin feels hot against Hyunbin’s still covered chest.

Hyunbin takes this moment of opportunity to cover Sanggyun’s mouth before he can go in again. Sanggyun’s eyebrows draw together and his eyes are filled with a combination of confusion and annoyance. Hyunbin is slightly proud of himself, willpower strong, because he manages to keep his hand over Sanggyun’s mouth even when he feels a wet tongue sliding against his palm.

“No, nope, no, we have to stop.”

Hyunbin is still panting, lips spit slicked and red. He’s certain they’ll bruised come morning. Sanggyun tries to reply, but it’s muffled by Hyunbin’s hand.

“If I uncover your mouth, you have to promise not to kiss me again.”  
Sanggyun nods and Hyunbin reluctantly moves his hand to his side, inconspicuously wiping it on his jeans.

“Why the hell did you stop?”

“You’re drunk hyung. You have no idea what you’re doing.”  
“I am not…that drunk.”  
“Sanggyun-hyung…”  
“Really! I’m only a little buzzed.”  
“Hyung, stop.”

“But _whyyyy_ ,” Sanggyun whines. “I _know_ you still like me, even though you’re dating that fucking loser Shihyun.”  
“Hey, he’s not a loser. Don’t say that shit about my boyfriend.”

Sanggyun recoils as if he’s been hit.

“Yeah, that’s right, _boyfriend_. We’re dating Sanggyun-hyung. Or did you forget?”

Sanggyun has enough respect to look guilty, eyes shaky and avoiding Hyunbin’s glare. But then he scoffs, running a hand through his hair.

“Bet he’s downstairs sucking face with Yongguk.”  
“He wouldn’t do-”

“Oh, come off it Hyunbin. I know that you’re only with him because you’re both miserable.”  
And that stings. More than Hyunbin expected.

“Well, who the fuck do you think made me miserable? Huh, Sanggyun? _Who_?”  
Hyunbin can practically see the warring emotions in Sanggyun’s eyes, guilty, or determined. Back and forth. Back and forth. It seems he’s settled on determined because his eyes are flashing when he makes eye contact with Hyunbin again.

“I didn’t know what I wanted back then,” he spits.

“What, and you do now? When you’re fuckin’ wasted? Gimme a break hyung.”  
“Break up with Shihyun.”

“No.”  
“I’ll still want you in the morning.”  
“You won’t.”  
“Just watch. I will.”

Hyunbin rolls his eyes.

“Break up with him tomorrow. I’ll still want you. I will.”  
“You won’t remember this in the morning hyung.”

And maybe that’s what gives Hyunbin the permission to crowd close to Sanggyun this time. Sanggyun makes a wounded noise when Hyunbin seals their mouths together, but this kiss is chaste, gentle.

“Sober up Sanggyun,” Hyunbin whispers. And then he’s gone. Sanggyun’s eyes are closed before he even hits the bed. The lamp clicks off and the room is flooded in darkness again. He doesn’t wake when the door thuds shut. Outside, Hyunbin runs a hand through his hair and presses against the hickey, red and angry. He runs his tongue over his teeth and attempts to memorize the flavor. He tries not to feel regret that he’ll never kiss Sanggyun again. He fails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i wrote such filth. i'm garbage just take me out now


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drink responsibly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow the angst is real with this one

When Hyunbin wakes up with a pounding headache he groans. This was _not_ what he had planned for his first day of winter break. He reaches for his phone only to blurrily realize he’s received a flurry of messages within the past few hours.

_11:00 A.M. Kim Taedong: yo dude, we still going to karaoke?_

_11: 03 A.M. Sangyunnie-hyung: We need to talk_

_11:48 A.M. Noh Taehyun: Hey why do I have your wallet in my back pocket?_

_12:01 P.M. Kim Yongguk: do u kno where shihyun is_

_12:02 P.M. Kim Shihyun: dude I think I slept with yongguk. also we need to break up_

Hyunbin sighs. He had completely forgot they were all meeting for karaoke. He checks the time. 12:23 PM. He still has an hour. He starts typing out replies but pauses on the one for Sanggyun. He figures he’ll just pretend to not see it and deal with it later.

When he’s finished showering and brushing his teeth there’s still 45 minutes before he needs to be at karaoke, but he knows it’ll take 30 minutes to get there at least. He puts on a worn hoodie and some fashionably ripped jeans.

“I’m going out!” he calls.   
“Stay safe!”

She hands him a piece of toast on his way out. It’s buttery and warm. He loves his mother.

\----

The sun is brighter than expected on a winter day and Hyunbin bemoans the fact that he forgot sunglasses. He slips in earbuds and hums to himself, breathing in the crisp air. It’s refreshing in a way he hasn’t felt in ages.

He arrives at karaoke in exactly 30 minutes. He’s tempted to turn around when he sees Sanggyun on a bench with his hood pulled over his head dark sunglasses covering his eyes. He’s not that lucky, because Sanggyun spots him, beckoning him over. He pats the space on the bench next to him.

“Did you see my text?”

“Ah, no,” Hyunbin lies.

“Mm. We…have to talk.”

Hyunbin’s stomach drops. Cold sweat beads on the back of his neck.

“Can we do this later hyung? We’re meeting everybody in ten minutes.”

“…fine. But…we’re going to the park later.”

“…fine.”

It’s uncomfortably quiet as they sit in waiting. Taehyun is next to arrive and he looks back and forth between them.

“Aish, you two are so quiet. Did somebody die?”

“It’s nothing hyung,” Hyunbin says. “Just tired and hungover.”

Taehyun laughs at that.

“Ah, me too. My muscles ache from all that dancing,” he says, massaging at his shoulder. “Ah! Here’s your wallet Hyunbin-ah, I’m not sure why I had it though.”  
He hands it over and silence falls over them again. They spot Donghan in the distance, and Taehyun waves him over.

“Donghannie, give me a massage! I’m all sore from dancing.”

Donghan rolls his eyes.

“Well then maybe you shouldn’t have danced so hard hyung.”

“Yah, so mean to your elders. Kids these days. No respect.”

Shihyun arrives minutes before Yongguk. They take turns glancing at each other and blushing. Taehyun shoots them a confused look.  
“What is up with everybody today? First Hyunbin and Sanggyun, and now Yongguk and Shihyun…what the hell is going on?”

Shihyun looks like he’s about to answer, but he’s saved from embarrassment by the entrance of Taedong and Kenta. The two are walking side by side, chatting amiably.

“Ready to go everybody?” Taedong asks. They all follow Taedong as he leads them to karaoke. The room they get is bigger than Hyunbin expected.

“Me first!” Taehyun shouts. He grabs the controls and inputs a code. Hyunbin has to hold himself back from rolling his eyes when 2ne1’s _I am the Best_ begins playing. Taehyun seems to have decided that he will simultaneously dance and sing, and he begins dancing the choreography far too clean for it to be his first time.

It takes all of 10 seconds before Taedong and Donghan join in on dancing, and the three belt out the chorus while dancing in sync. Shihyun seems enraptured by the performance and Yongguk seems to be enraptured by him. Sanggyun is quiet, scrolling through his phone. Hyunbin’s eyes pass over all three. He’s serious for a moment, thinking about the inevitable conversation he and Sanggyun will have. He shakes his head. He may as well have fun now, and his mouth stretches into a wide grin as he begins belting with the rest of them.

Several hours later, Hyunbin is pulled out of the room by a frazzled Shihyun.

“Hyunbin, I have something to tell you.”  
“Mm?”

“We need to break up.”

Hyunbin nods.

“Yeah, okay.”  
Shihyun looks regretful.

“I’m sorry.”  
“It’s okay. We both know we were just stand-ins for the real deal.”

Shihyun smiles.  
“Yeah. But I’m still sorry. Let’s be friends Hyunbin-ah.”

“Okay.”

They’re right outside the door. Hyunbin can feel the bass through the door.

“Good luck with Yongguk,” he says. Shihyun blushes.

“Thanks, Hyunbin.”

 They hug, tight and comforting. Hyunbin ruffles Shihyun’s hair.

“Let’s go back in,” he says. They reopen the door only to be blasted full on with Taedong imitating G-Dragon’s nasally vocals as the track to _Fantastic Baby_ plays in the background.

“LAST SONG GUYS!” Taehyun shouts and soon the eight of them are jumping in sync, abandoning all melody in favor shouting out the lyrics as loudly as possible. They’re still screaming when the song ends, and soon they devolve into laughter. Hyunbin grabs at his stomach as he doubles over. He doesn’t remember the last time he had this much fun.

The group leaves karaoke in high spirits, despite all their wallets being just a bit lighter. Hyunbin watches as the group starts pairing off and he swallows thickly as he’s left with Sanggyun. A few moments pass. Sanggyun scratches absentmindedly at his neck.

“So,” he starts. “Park?”

Another swallow.

“Yep.”

The park is further than usual but it doesn’t bother Hyunbin. It gives him more time to formulate a plan. When they arrive, they walk to the swings and sit, creatures of pattern.

“Hyunbin-ah.”

Hyunbin hums but doesn’t turn.

“I’m sorry.”

Hyunbin sighs.

“Eat shit.”

Sanggyun huffs angrily.

“I’m sorry, okay? I am!”

“Just fuck off Sanggyun.”

“I’m trying here Hyunbin.”

Hyunbin scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Really? Could’ve fooled me asshole.”

Sanggyun stands up and the swing chains clink noisily. He moves in front of the still seated Hyunbin and glowers. Hyunbin turns his head and avoids eye contact.

“Hyunbin. Look at me.”

“I’m good.”

“Hyunbin.”

Sanggyun only gets angrier, fire burning in his eyes. He extends a hand and grabs Hyunbin’s face, forcing him to turn.

“I’m sorry Hyunbin. I fucked up.”

Hyunbin holds his glare for a second before his face contorts into sadness.

“…you’re the worst hyung.”

“I know.”

Hyunbin’s frown is deep as tears start rolling down his cheeks. Sanggyun releases his face and runs a hand through his hair. He feels guilty. Hyunbin wipes furiously as his teary eyes.

“I didn’t mean to lead you on Hyunbin-ah.”  
“Yeah,” Hyunbin whispers. “…so you lied last night.”

Sanggyun cocks his head in confusion.

“You said you’d still want me in the morning.”

“…I…”

“So you lied to me.”

“I…I…”

“You were drunk anyways. I shouldn’t have assumed...”

“No that’s, I, I didn-”

Hyunbin cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

“No. It’s fine. I was mistaken.”  
“Fuck Hyunbin, listen to me. I didn’t lie. I…I do want you. But. It’s…I…it’s not fair for you yet.”  
“The shit does that mean?”

“I mean that…I…I don’t want to try anything yet. I don’t know what I’m feeling, okay?”

Hyunbin laughs, hollow and humorless.

“You’re really the worst hyung.”  
“I know.”  
“…walk me home.”

“Okay.”

He knows it’s out of Sanggyun’s way, but Hyunbin can’t bring himself to care. They start walking and Sanggyun slings an arm around Hyunbin’s shoulders. Hyunbin shrugs it off and Sanggyun doesn’t try again. When they get to the front of his home, Sanggyun looks at him expectantly.

“…we’re here.” Sanggyun is shifting nervously.  
“Yeah,” Hyunbin states, deadpan, dry. His discontentment is still starkly obvious.

“…you…you can hit me if you’d like.”

“Okay.”

Hyunbin brings his hand up. Sanggyun squeezes his eyes shut and braces himself. His eyes open in confusion when there’s no impact. Hyunbin’s hand hovers in space before he curls his fingers and flicks Sanggyun right on the forehead.

“Go home hyung.”

Hyunbin turns and walks to his front door, he doesn’t turn, doesn’t wave. Sanggyun watches him disappear inside before bringing a hand up to his forehead. He stands outside for another ten minutes before he turns and starts the long walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmmmmm updates one day


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunbin watches dramas and then watches his life becoming a drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i've been sitting on this chapter for like a week and I'm finally going to post it because I think I'm far enough in [ Midnight Sun ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139374/chapters/27541659) for it to not spoil too much.

Hyunbin sulks for a week in his room, eating copious amounts of snacks and watching trashy dramas. He ignores messages from his friends and avoids talking to his family. He knows his friends are worried, but when he hears a knock on his door at 8:00 P.M. on a dreary Tuesday night, he’s rightfully confused. His parents are still out at dinner with another family, and Hyunbin is just a little happy that he can eat his snacks and watch his dramas in peace for once.

He brushes off crumbs on his shirt and meanders over to the door. He isn’t sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t a duo of third-years.

“…hi hyungs,” he starts.

“Hi Hyunbinnie,” Taehyun says. Sungwoon nods beside him. Hyunbin sees their hands clasped together.

“So. You gonna let us in or what?”

Hyunbin shrugs and then stands to the side. The two slide through the doorway and remove their shoes. Sungwoon pats Hyunbin on the back, firm and confident, before he and Taehyun brush past him and head to his room

“Aish, Hyunbin-ah, what have you been doing for the past week?” Taehyun asks as he surveys the pile of half-opened snacks and unmade bed. Hyunbin shrugs but remains silent. He starts clearing off empty wrappers from his bed and collapses in it face first. He hears shuffling behind him and jolts when a warm hand starts rubbing his back.

“You know Hyunbinnie,” Sungwoon starts. “Sanggyun is a big dummy and he doesn’t deserve you.”

Hyunbin grunts. The hand is removed.

“You should move on Hyunbin. There are people out there who are worth your time,” Taehyun says. Hyunbin rolls over and stares up at the ceiling. Taehyun and Sungwoon seem to have made themselves comfortable on the floor.

“...Sanggyun…Sanggyun and I talked a week ago.”

“I know,” Taehyun says.

“He said that…that he wants me. But he’s confused.”

“…I know.”

“What...what should I do hyung?”

“Hyunbin-ah,” Taehyun starts. Hyunbin hears him stand and then an insistent hand is pulling him up as well. His eyes lock with Taehyun’s. “You deserve somebody who isn’t confused. You deserve more than just being a trial run for a boy who isn’t even sure what he wants yet.”

Hyunbin looks away.

“I’ve been doing a lot of crying lately, haven’t I?” he sniffs.

“It’s not your fault Hyunbin,” Sungwoon says, heaving himself up before coming to stand next to Taehyun.

“Sanggyun-ah is an idiot,” Taehyun says. Hyunbin lets out a watery laugh.

“Yeah, he’s the worst.”

Sungwoon and Taehyun nod in sync.

“Yeah, the absolute worst.”

Hyunbin is quiet for a moment, staring at his knees. He stands and realizes he towers over both his friends.

“…I appreciate you guys. A lot,” he whispers, wrapping them both in a tight hug. They rub warm hands simultaneously on his back and give him several firm pats when he leans back. Hyunbin wipes at his eyes and sits on the floor, back on the bed. Taehyun and Sungwoon move to their own spots again. Hyunbin narrows his eyes as they link hands.

“So…what’s with that?” he asks, pointing to their hands.

“Ah…”

Taehyun lets out a nervous laugh, ears reddening. Sungwoon coughs and shifts his eyes around the room.

“Sungwoon and I…uh…we’re dating now.”

Hyunbin raises an eyebrow.

“We...it’s a recent thing,” Taehyun mumbles.

Hyunbin’s face is stone cold for another moment, and then he breaks out into a wide grin.

“Wow! Congratulations Taehyun-hyung, Sungwoon-hyung. You two are really suited to each other.”

Taehyun and Sungwoon laugh along with him, but both are bright red and still embarrassed.

“Th-Thanks Hyunbin.”

The two of them are cute, embarrassed but charming. They join Hyunbin for the rest of the afternoon, watching dramas and romcoms and thrillers while eating their way through a sizeable number of snacks. Hyunbin’s spirit feels lighter than it has in months.

He gets a message halfway through some foreign drama. His hand is nearly at his mouth with a fistful of popcorn. He shoves the kernels in unceremoniously and chews loud as he checks his phone. Ah. He inhales quickly and almost chokes on popcorn. It’s just who he didn’t want to see. Fantastic.

_9:42 P.M. Sangyunnie-hyung: Yo wanna hang out tomorrow_

Taehyun peers over his shoulder and yanks his phone. He starts typing and Hyunbin can just make out the words “fuck off.” He snatches it back and deletes the message (‘hey asshole, fuck off and die’). Taehyun frowns.

“I can’t send that hyung.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s mean.”

“Sanggyun is mean.”

Hyunbin doesn’t have an argument for that one.

“…whatever hyung.”

_9:46 P.M. Me: Yeah sure_

_9:48 P.M. Sanggyunnie-hyung: Awesome. I’ll be over at 12._

_9:49 P.M. Me: K_

Taehyun is shaking his head. Sungwoon tuts.

“I have a weak will, I’m sorry.”  
“That’s no excuse,” Sungwoon sing-songs. And it really isn’t, but Hyunbin can’t come up with a better one.

“Aiiiish,” Hyunbin sighs. He hears the front door open. Ah. His parents are back. Taehyun and Sungwoon exchange glances.

“Guess that’s our cue to leave,” Taehyun smiles. “Bye Hyunbinnie. Feel better!”

The two are up and out of his home at a lightning fast pace. He tries to follow to escort them out, but they’re too quick.

“Thank you for your hospitality!” they chorus, flying by Hyunbin’s parents. They turn to Hyunbin, faces confused.

“Were those friends of yours?” his mother asks.

“Ah, yeah. They um, they had to go home.”

“Oh, okay. I see.” She smiles at him, warm and full of affection. “I’m glad you’re finally having some friends over.”

He grins in return. He knows he’s probably been a miserable sight over the past week. Constantly messy, always looking depressed, eyes heavy with deep bags, tired even though exams are finished. He feels a little guilty, making his family worry. He’ll make it up to them in the future.

“I’m glad too,” he says. And to his surprise, he means it.

\----  
Hyunbin isn’t looking forward to 12:00 P.M. Except that he is. Maybe he just has a masochistic streak. Or maybe he’s just a dumbass in love. Is it the first reason, the second? It doesn’t really matter. They’re both garbage options anyways.

He’s jittery in his living room, leg tapping nervously, hand running constantly through his hair. He phases out, reminiscing on former memories, remembering the last few times it was just him and Sanggyun. Fuck. Bad idea. He has to stop. He’s getting depressed. He hears a knock on the door five minutes past 12:00 and almost has a heart attack, too caught up in his own thoughts. It’s Sanggyun. Because of course it is. Who else could it possibly be?

“Hey,” Sanggyun says.

“Yo.”

They stand awkwardly in the doorway before Hyunbin finally moves to the side. Sanggyun chuckles nervously as he slips off his shoes and plods into Hyunbin’s home. Hyunbin follows him to his room, at this point, Sanggyun has been over enough times to know the way.

“So. Uh. Whatcha wanna do?” Sanggyun asks. God, this atmosphere is so uncomfortable.

“…I dunno hyung. You’re the one who wanted to come over.” Hyunbin doesn’t mean to be snarky, but he’s pretty sure Sanggyun interpreted it that way. He flinches a little and rubs at his arm nervously. Hyunbin feels a tiny, sick pleasure at causing Sanggyun pain. Sanggyun has caused plenty of it for Hyunbin. Why not even the playing field some, it’s just logical. Right?

“…uh. We could go to the park.”

Hyunbin glowers. Is Sanggyun doing this on purpose? Their last few visits to the park weren’t exactly pleasant, and Hyunbin has no desire to add another shitty memory to the collection.

“No,” he says sharply. “I’m definitely _not_ interested in going there.”

Sanggyun catches on almost immediately and goes from rubbing at his arm to digging the nails in and squeezing, knuckles white.

“Ah, uh, yeah, sorry. Um. I know the last few times there weren’t, uh, grea-“

“Hyung. Stop. You aren’t making this better.”

The hand moves to his neck, rubbing it awkwardly.

“Right. Um. Yeah. Sorry.”

Hyunbin sighs. He’s annoyed, he can’t help it. He knows Sanggyun isn’t purposefully trying to be insensitive, but jeez is this boy dense.

“Let’s just watch a show or something,” Hyunbin spits.

“Haha, uh, yeah, sure. Whatever you want.”  
Hyunbin holds back the intense urge to roll his eyes. Wasn’t Sanggyun the one who wanted to come over?

_Idiot._

Hyunbin moves over to his desk and grabs his laptop, settling on the bed. After a few tense moments, Sanggyun joins him. His movements are choppy, like he’s never been here before, like he isn’t sure he’s even allowed in this room. It’s uncomfortably silent as Hyunbin’s computer boots up. Hyunbin can practically hear Sanggyun’s racing heart. He knows Sanggyun is nervous. That Sanggyun wants his friend back, wants to repair their ruined relationship. He’ll never admit it, but Hyunbin wants that too. But hey, what’s the harm in making him work for it?

“So. What should we watch?” Sanggyun asks. His voice is shaky. Hyunbin smirks. He has an idea. A cruel idea.

“How about a drama?”

He thinks hard. He wants one that has a confession scene, wants one that’ll really grind salt into the wounds. He wants for Sanggyun to see what he looked like, when he pulled the good old “I don’t want to lose our friendship” schtick.

Hyunbin starts up the drama, feeling smug. The first episode begins with a montage. A female voice monologues over different scenes of a school before settling on a girl, pretty, petite. It shows her going through her day, the mundanity of classes and the excitement over preparing a confession. Was this how Hyunbin looked? Starry eyes and pink cheeks?

The tension builds until the ending scene. The most impactful scene. The confession scene, one that hits home a little harder than Hyunbin expected. He watches the girl confess her love. Spill her secrets of how she’s always loved him. She’s red and flustered, but her voice is confident and determined.

Sanggyun averts his eyes a few times when the boy starts the rejection. He’s harsher than Sanggyun had been, but a rejection is a rejection. There’s no escaping out of that one. Even though Sanggyun hadn’t been as callous as the boy in the drama, the aftermath was just as brutal. Hyunbin feels the guilt roll off Sanggyun in waves. The girl on the screen begins crying. Hyunbin recalls doing the same. It’s still hard to admit, even to himself.

And that’s how the first episode ends. A girl, crying gently underneath a leafy tree. Hyunbin is absolutely sure his tears weren’t as beautiful as hers, but real life is rarely poetic anyways. Hyunbin looks to Sanggyun. He shuffles uncomfortably and looks anywhere but Hyunbin’s face.

“Hyunbin,” Sanggyun starts. He gulps audibly. “Was…was I like that? Like the boy?”

Hyunbin pauses. Sanggyun looks so unsure, so guilt ridden, that Hyunbin almost feels bad for him. He recalls his confession again. If Hyunbin tries really hard, sometimes it almost doesn’t hurt. But he isn’t trying hard today. He feels the familiar stab in his gut, the dropping of his stomach. He remembers the salty tears, the red nose. He remembers the all-encompassing sadness and disappointment. He exhales.

“No.”

Sanggyun breathes out, relief on his face. But then he tenses again, like he just remembered something.

“…but I was still…pretty bad, right?”

Hyunbin laughs. It’s humorless and dry.

“Yeah hyung. It was still pretty bad.”

Silence settles. It’s thick like molasses. Hyunbin feels trapped.

“…Sanggyun-hyung?”

“Yes?” Sanggyun answers quick and loud. He sounds eager to please, to answer questions, to change the topic to literally anything else.

“…let’s be friends again. I’m sick and tired of this sad shit.”

Sanggyun’s resulting smile is warm, but his eyes are still murky with worry.

“Okay,” he whispers. “Okay.”

Hyunbin lets out one last humorless chuckle and then perks up. He starts rambling on excitedly and fishes a notebook out of his bag.

“Help me with this new rap hyung!”

“Yeah, okay, sure.”

They start flipping through the pages. Sanggyun’s grin is huge. Hyunbin’s is too. His eyes give him away, devoid of humor, empty. He’s lucky though. Sanggyun isn’t looking. He doesn’t notice. Hyunbin pretends it doesn’t hurt. But he can’t fool himself. He never will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for stickin' it out for 10 days guys. please continue to support jbj and read [ Midnight Sun ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139374/chapters/27541659) if you want a taehyun spin on the situation


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shopping and revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup guys, midterms are almost over whoo. hahaha...ha...ha. somebody save me

It’s a boring day, grey skies and slow-moving clouds. It allows Hyunbin to think, maybe a little too much. He doesn’t spend much time contemplating it, but Hyunbin decides it’s high time he mend his relationship with Sanggyun. So Sanggyun will never love him back, HA! Who cares? Right?

_Me. I care._

Hyunbin shakes his head and dispels the thought. No. He doesn’t care. All he wants is to be friends with Sanggyun, it doesn’t matter that Sanggyun doesn’t feel the same way. Not at all. It’s better this way anyways, right? Best friends through thick and thin, except one friend has some super questionable feelings for the other one. And then they don’t talk about it. And ignore it. Forever. But other than that, completely fine, best friends.

He’s feeling determined and confident. Even confident enough to message Sanggyun and ask him to hang out. Just them, one-on-one. He’d been planning to go shopping alone, buy a new outfit for the modeling gig next weekend. The invitation said something about attending a party and dressing nice, he’s a little fuzzy on the details. But he does know one thing for certain, his agency expects him to attend. And he’s pretty fond of getting paid and not losing his job. So he’ll be there.

_12:02 P.M. Me: yo wanna go shopping?_

_12:06 P.M. Sanggyunnie-hyung: yeah sure_

_12:08 P.M. Me: cool. let’s meet at the subway near school at 12:30_

_12:09 P.M. Sanggyunnie-hyung: k_

It takes him about three minutes to throw on a clean shirt and some jeans before heading out the door. The walk to the subway is short, but maybe that’s because he’s walking a little faster than usual. There’s a decently large crowd at the station, a typical size for the weekend. He hangs around outside, scanning the crowd for Sanggyun’s familiar hair. He checks the time. It’s only 12:23 P.M.

Turns out all his searching was for nothing because Sanggyun is wearing a black snapback that hides his hair. He finds Hyunbin easily, a height of 187 centimeters isn’t really a thing one can hide after all. Hyunbin smiles and waves at Sanggyun who nods in return. And just to be obnoxious, he starts waving wildly and smiling wide, teeth showing. Hyunbin sees Sanggyun’s shoulders fall, he can practically hear the sigh from here.

_Ha,_ Hyunbin thinks. _I win._

What he wins? He has no idea, but hey, he won, and that’s really what counts. Sanggyun weaves his way through the weekend rush to Hyunbin. His outfit looks extra comfortable today, well-worn jeans and a soft looking long-sleeved shirt.

“So, where you wanna shop Hyunbin-ah?” he asks, starting to move inside the station. It could be considered a stupid question, the best shops are all downtown, but he figures he might as well ask anyways. Subway cars race by and the air whistles in the tunnesl. They’ll catch the next one to downtown.

“Mm, I need to get something kinda nice. But not too ritzy, you know?”

Sanggyun hums in agreement even though he has no clue on the details of formal wear. It’s not like he’s been invited to any professional modeling events. Or, really, any formal events at all. The only real formal event he’s been to was a distant cousin’s wedding when he was ten, and his family had rented him a tiny black suit for three whole days. He’s not sure if he even owns a nice suit. Probably not is his guess.

They talk idly as they move forward. The subway is crowded, but not as much as the morning work rush on weekdays. Their conversation slowly disintegrates, their voices too quiet to be heard over the mass of others and the loud rushing wind typical of a subway. In the car, Hyunbin and Sanggyun are forced close, but not quite close enough to touch. Standing still, Hyunbin is reminded yet again of their height difference. Hyunbin thinks it’s hilarious, and, hey, get this: Sanggyun disagrees. Wow. What a shock.

When they reach the downtown stop, the majority of the crowd filters out, including Sanggyun and Hyunbin. Their conversation that had previously trailed off picks up again, and they talk casually about break. Neither Hyunbin nor Sanggyun bring up the fact that Hyunbin moped for a week straight, refusing to answer any and all messages from anybody but his parents. Sanggyun remembers distinctly sending a message and not receiving a reply. He was confused, he’d never been ignored by Hyunbin before, not even after the _thing_ , but he just figured maybe Hyunbin had better stuff to do. He didn’t let it eat at him. There was no reason to even really worry at all.

“Hey, Sanggyun-hyung.”

They’re still walking.

“Yeah?”

“…I want to be friends.”

Sanggyun falters a bit and turns his head towards Hyunbin.

“...uh, okay? I thought we were already friends?” Sanggyun frowns, like he’s entertaining the thought that Hyunbin is playing a massive prank on him and only faking their friendship.

“Yeah yeah, we are, I’m not saying-I mean…I just…I know we’re friends, okay?” Hyunbin stutters, desperate to get his feelings across. “I just, uh, what I’m saying is…I want you to forget all that other stuff. I want to go back to the time when you didn’t know my, um, my feelings for you.”

Sanggyun looks reluctant. This puzzles Hyunbin, what’s Sanggyun holding back? He tries not to dwell on it, he doesn’t think he could handle a false hope. Slowly, Sanggyun’s face relaxes, morphs into one of acceptance.

“If…if that’s what you want Hyunbin, then I’ll do it. We can go back.”

“Yeah! Rewind time! Just pretend _none of this_ …” Hyunbin starts. He gestures at the space in between him and Sanggyun. “None of it…even happened at all.”

“Okay.”. The answer is so quiet it’s nearly drowned out by rushing traffic. Sanggyun’s  tone is resigned, and if Hyunbin stretches the truth just a bit, he can almost convince himself that there’s a tinge of bitterness as well. It’s embarrassing how much he wants that to be true.

_He’s disappointed, brimming with regret._

No. Stop. Shut up. No. He’s not. He can’t risk false hope. He doesn’t want to chase Sanggyun anymore, he’s tired of getting left in the dust. He wants to go back to when they were equal, when they walked side by side instead of Hyunbin being led around.

The two walk slowly, passing shops. Hyunbin assesses each window, shaking his head at most. None of the shops have what he wants. But then they stumble upon it, a sleek black store with crisply pressed suits. When they walk in, a worker comes over immediately.

“Good afternoon sirs. How may we help you today?”

“Ah, I’m looking for a nice outfit for a formal event. A whole suit if it’s possible.”  
“Of course, sir. Any preference to color or print?”

“I like dark blues and neutral colors. Preferably no prints. And a suit for this one as well please.”

He points to Sanggyun. Sanggyun balks, what does Hyunbin think he’s doing, he can’t afford any of this.

“Of course, sir. Would you like a tie or pocket square?”

“No thank you,” Hyunbin says, but then he moves towards the worker. The worker leans in and Hyunbin whispers something into his ear. Try as he might, Sanggyun can’t hear it.

“Excellent choice, sir. Please allow me several minutes to obtain some options to suit your tastes. If you and your friend could kindly wait at these chairs, I will return in a few moments with your options. Hyunbin sits and pulls out his phone, casual and a little aloof. In normal circumstances, Sanggyun would pull out his phone too, but he’s awestruck by how high-class this store is.

The floors are a classy black marble, the walls charcoal grey, an expensive chandelier hangs above them, shit, even the seats they’re on are a plush velvet. Everything seems to exude elegance and sophistication. Sanggyun feels out of place, but it’s starkly obvious Hyunbin doesn’t.

For the first time ever, Sanggyun finds himself questioning the true extent of Hyunbin’s wealth. He’d noticed little things over the course of their friendship, Hyunbin’s nice watches and expensive looking brand name sunglasses. But hey, his dad has an expensive watch too and they’re not even close to be considered upper class. And Sanggyun has been to Hyunbin’s house, it’s normal looking, nowhere near as extravagant as this shop.

Hyunbin’s home isn’t really a standout. A little larger than average, but there’s nothing to indicate any extreme wealth. It’s nice enough to definitely fall under the category of upper middle-class homes, but clearly their initial introduction is completely wrong.

They sit a few more minutes in silence until the sales clerk returns, arms full of at least ten suits. Sanggyun wants to offer to help, but he’s guesses that it’s not considered proper etiquette in a place like this.

“Sirs, if you would please follow me,” he says. Sanggyun can barely see the top of his head. They walk to the changing rooms, and Sanggyun hasn’t really been in to too many changing rooms (he just buys clothes after eyeballing the size), but he’s sure the majority don’t look like this. They’re easily as sleek as the rest of the store, and when the clerk opens a changing room Sanggyun can clearly see that it’s fucking _huge._

“You first,” Hyunbin says, pushing Sanggyun towards the door. He wants to object (because really, how is he going to pay for this), but the sales clerk is still waiting expectantly.

“Ah, of course,” he mumbles, walking into the room.

“If you would like to wait outside sir,” he says, gesturing at Hyunbin. “You are welcome to sit in these chairs.”

Hyunbin sits casually, lounging in the chair. He hears the clinking of suits being hung up on metal bars and then the clerk comes out.

“Please do not hesitate to call me if you need any assistance. Your suits will be on the left sir,” he informs Sanggyun before bowing slightly before leaving the two alone. Sanggyun goes in, tense and uncomfortable.

There’s only one suit on the left. It’s a deep maroon, a striking color but still tasteful. A white shirt hangs next to it. Once the door is closed, Sanggyun immediately begins searching for a price tag. There’s none. If Sanggyun knows one thing, it’s that if you have to ask for the price, you can’t afford it.

 Outside, Hyunbin is sitting comfortably, face still completely aloof. He’s pretty sure Sanggyun is searching for a price tag. He won’t find one. He hears rustling and a loud exhale. The door opens. He stares. And stares. And stares.

“Uh…what do you think?”

Hyunbin doesn’t say anything. The sales clerk comes back.

“Hello sirs, is everything to your satisfaction?”

“That suit. The one he’s wearing. We’ll take it.”

“Hyunbin…” Sanggyun rubs at the back of his neck.

“Of course, sir. If you would like, I can take it up to the front and hold it for you until you are done shopping.”

“Yes, thanks.”

Sanggyun reenters the changing room and comes out much faster than before. He’s back to his casual outfit. Hyunbin still thinks he looks great. Sanggyun hands the suit to the worker who smiles and walks away, presumably to the front of the store. Hyunbin stands and stretches out. Sanggyun catches a glimpse of a taught stomach. He flushes. Hyunbin moves towards the room and Sanggyun moves to sit, posture rigid.

“I’ll come out when I think something looks really good, okay?”

Sanggyun nods, still stiff. Inside the changing room, he can hear Sanggyun suppressing a cough. He’s being so awkward. It’s a little funny. He doesn’t laugh, that would be mean, but he can’t hold back at tiny smile.

He looks up and down the suits. There are around ten at least. None catch his eye at first glance. It’s like a sea of black and charcoal grey. But then he sees it, the only navy suit of the bunch. He’s puzzled why there’s only one, but he doesn’t dwell much on it. He slips off his clothing and begins to put on the suit.

He likes the color, it’s a dark navy, almost black. The button up paired with it is a stark white contrast. He slips on the jacket and turns, assessing the look from different angles. He looks in the mirror one last time. A nod. Time for Sanggyun’s opinion.

He steps out almost silently, startling Sanggyun. He nearly drops his phone to look up at Hyunbin. Hyunbin raises an eyebrow when Sanggyun’s eyes widen and his mouth opens. He looks awestruck, like he’s never seen Hyunbin in his life. He doesn’t say anything, and that makes Hyunbin nervous.

“So, uh,” Hyunbin starts. “What do you think?”

Sanggyun continues to stare in silence before gently closing his mouth. His eyes are still wide, but at least he looks less star struck.

“Um, uh, er, uhhhh…” Sanggyun flounders.

“…um. I…I don’t know what that means hyung…”

“You, uh, erm, you, hnngh, um,” Sanggyun stutters. Words seem to escape him.

“…still…still not a real sentence hyung.”

“You look. Wow. I…you look. Um. Good.”

_“Good”_ he thinks. Not exactly a vote of confidence.

“Ah, do you not like it? Maybe I should try on another-”

“NO! I mean,” he coughs and adjusts his volume. “No. This one looks. Great. Fantastic. _You_ look fantastic Hyunbin.”

This causes Hyunbin to preen just a little, he soaks up the praise and smiles. Sanggyun’s ears are a firetruck red. Hyunbin can almost see the steam rising from Sanggyun’s face.

“Okay. Then I’ll get this one.”

“Yes. Please. I mean-uh. You look, uh, yeah. Good choice, dude.”  
Hyunbin goes back into the room and comes out holding the hanger with the suit in his hands, clothing back to normal. Sanggyun exhales in relief. Hyunbin in normal clothes is something he can handle. Hyunbin starts walking towards the front and Sanggyun scrambles to follow. He approaches the sales clerk.

“We’d also like to purchase this suit.”  
“Of course sir. Wonderful choice, this suit is very tasteful.”

Hyunbin nods almost absentmindedly and takes out his wallet. For the first time, Sanggyun notices it’s leather. He almost chokes when Hyunbin pulls out a black card. How had he never noticed this before? Hyunbin hands over the credit card with a bored, uninterested expression. The worker smiles and runs it through the machine, then hands it back over to Hyunbin.

“Please wait several moments while I prepare the suits for you.”

Sanggyun whips his head to stare at Hyunbin. Are they supposed to carry these exceedingly nice suits on the subway? It almost seems like a disservice to them.

“Actually,” Hyunbin cuts in. “I would like them delivered to my residence.”  
“Of course, sir. Please provide your preferred time of delivery and your address and we will have them delivered at your convenience.”

Hyunbin starts rattling off his address and informs the worker that he wants them delivered tomorrow at 10:00 A.M. The clerk nods and Hyunbin begins to exit the store. Sanggyun, still so incredibly stiff, turns to follow him.

The security guard at the front, who Sanggyun hadn’t noticed before, nods at them once. Hyunbin nods back. Sanggyun doesn’t.

“Have a nice day, sirs,” the clerk calls. And then they’re out. Sanggyun sighs, who knew shopping could be this tiring?

“So…what next?” Sanggyun asks.

“Mm…why don’t we get lunch? Are you hungry?”

“Ah, yeah,” he replies. It seems that buying expensive suits results in more than just exhaustion. They wander around until they find a cute looking café. Hyunbin gets some obscure sounding artisan coffee and a salad. Sanggyun settles for what looks like the sweetest drink on the menu and a sandwich. They receive their food and drinks and find a small, two-person table in the corner.

“So, uh,” Sanggyun starts. “What, um, what exactly do your parents do?”

Hyunbin blinks a few times.  
“They’re in hospitality.”

Hyubin laughs when Sanggyun nearly spits out his drink.  
“Hospitality? Really? You, er…does that pay well?”

Hyunbin laughs even harder.

“Are you asking if I’m rich?”

Sanggyun’s eyes fall to the table. Wow, what a nice wood grain.

“…I…yes.”

“Well, I guess you could consider my family upper class.”

“But I’ve-I’ve been to your home, it’s not-” Sanggyun sputters.

“What, that place? Huh? That’s not big enough to fit my whole family.”

“What? What do you mean whole family? Do your parents not live with you?”  
“Uh, no, it’s way too small for them. Why do you think they’re always gone?”  
“I thought they just had long work days!”

“Well, there’s no way that place has enough room for all of us.”

“Who’s ‘all of us’?”

“My parents.”

“…your home, the one I’ve been to multiple times, isn’t big enough for your parents, and you,” Sanggyun deadpans.

“Ah! Wait! I almost forgot!”

Aha! Here’s the moment he’s been waiting for, when Hyunbin reveals that he actually has fifteen siblings! Sanggyun leans forward in anticipation.

“My two dogs!”

Sanggyun’s face falls.

“…your house isn’t big enough for _three people and two dogs?”_

“Um, no, of course not.”

“It has six bedrooms!”

“Yeah! That’s clearly not enough! And besides, it doesn’t even have a pool!”

“…you’re something else Hyunbin-ah.”

“Thanks, hyung!”

“Not a compliment.”

But this doesn’t seem to make any impact on Hyunbin, who smiles happily all throughout.

“So, what about you? How’s your family?” Hyunbin asks through a mouth of salad. Sanggyun takes a sip of his drink. It’s exactly as sweet as he wanted.

“Ah, you’ve never actually been over, have you?’

Hyunbin shakes his head.

“Nope.”

He’s wanted to come over though. He doesn’t say that part.

“…well…my family is weird. They’re kind of hard to explain…” Sanggyun trails off. “Why don’t you, er, just come over today and see for yourself?”

“Sure!”

Hyunbin beams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and if you want, tell me how i'm doing. if you want you can check out [ Midnight Sun ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12139374/chapters/27541659) too.  
> also, sorry this chapter is so long.  
> please support JBJ!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shopping, sisters, and showtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiyo everybody. exams are over. kinda. whoo? please check out other works from the [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720) series. it'd be much appreciated.

Hyunbin is tense with excitement. He’s never been over to Sanggyun’s home before. Probably because, before today, any time Sanggyun’s home life was brought up he’d flush in embarrassment and quickly change the subject. It’s a short ride on the subway and a very brief walk to get to the front of his home. It’s nice looking, clean, and smaller than any place Hyunbin has ever owned. He probably shouldn’t bring that up. Sanggyun exhales.

“Well. Here we are,” Sanggyun sighs.

“Here we are,” Hyunbin parrots.

They walk straight up to the door and Sanggyun pulls out his keys to unlock it. It swings open and Sanggyun gestures for Hyunbin to enter first.

“Thanks,” he says. He goes inside and removes his shoes, Sanggyun not far behind.  
“I’m home!” Sanggyun calls. “I brought a friend!”

The two walk into Sanggyun’s living room and find, who Hyunbin guesses is Sanggyun’s mother, sitting on the couch. She turns off the television upon them entering and stands.

“Welcome home. Ah, hello!”

She smiles at Hyunbin. He smiles back.

“Hello, I’m Hyunbin. I’m Sanggyun-hyung’s underclassman.”  
“Oh! Sanggyun talks about you all the ti-”

“Aigo! Mom!” Sanggyun interrupts, ears red hot. She laughs and Hyunbin notes that it’s surprisingly similar to Sanggyun’s.

“Welcome to our home,” she says, still giggling a bit.

“Thank you.” He bows. He rises back up just in time to see Sanggyun get tackled by a girl.

“Aish, noona!” Sanggyun grunts. She pulls him into a headlock and grins. Sanggyun’s mother starts laughing again.

“I’m going to the grocery store,” she says. The girl waves and Sanggyun attempts to. It’s mostly just a floundering while still stuck under her arm.  
“Hello!” the girl says. Sanggyun is still struggling. “I’m Jiyoon! I’m Sanggyun’s older sister.”  
“Ah, uh, hello.”

She releases Sanggyun and leans in close to his face. She’s shorter than him, but her stare is piercing. Hyunbin holds back the desire to gulp. She’s silent for a few more minutes, tilting her head and observing his face before beginning to slowly walk around him, assessing from all angles.

“Noona, stop, you’re weirding him out, noona, c’mon…”

“Shh Sangyunnie, your noona is doing something important.”

She’s still pacing. She doesn’t even spare a glance for Sanggyun. But Hyunbin does. He sees him cringe.

“Jiyoon-noona…c’mon…don’t do this.”

“Hmm, what do you mean?”  
Hyunbin watches Sanggyun’s eyes roll in slow motion.

“He’s an only child.”

Hyunbin is confused.

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have cousins. Right?”

“Uh, I um, have cousins?”

Jiyoon smirks triumphantly.

“Ha! See? He has cousins!”

“Of course he does noona, everybody has cousins,” Sanggyun huffs. “But that doesn’t mean you can date them.” Hyunbin jumps in surprise as she thwacks him hard on the back of the head.

“Ow! Noona!”

“Shush you brat.” Her words are harsh, but her tone is fond.

“Is Sangyunnie being a little shithead again?”

Another female voice. Surprisingly similar to Jiyoon’s. Hyunbin turns and gasps in surprise. There are two other girls standing side by side, arms crossed.

“Ah, these are my other two sisters. That one is Jiwoo,” he says, pointing. “And that’s Jimin.”

“Your sisters are triplets?!” Hyunbin sputters. Jiyoon goes to stand next to her sisters and crosses her arms as well. They look like three little mirror copies. Glaring mirror copies.

“Yeah, we are,” one says. Hyunbin thinks it’s Jiwoo.

“You got an issue with it?” the other says. Jimin?

“Uh, ah, no, of course not!” he stutters. They glare for a moment more before breaking out into laughter.

“Oh, we’re just teasing, stop looking so scared,” Jiyoon chuckles. Hyunbin tries to laugh along, but it comes off dry and awkward.

“Anyways,” Jimin starts. “Sanggyunnie hasn’t brought over a friend before.”  
“Ah, uh, really?” Hyunbin asks. He looks to Sanggyun for confirmation. Sanggyun rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Yeah, uh, they’re just so weird that…I uh…” he trails off. Hyunbin feels all warm inside, he’s the first one to get invited over.

_A big step._ Hyunbin pauses. _A big step towards what?_

He’s not sure he really wants the answer.

“So, because Sanggyun has finally brought over a friend, that means it’s time to show you the photos!” Jiyoon cackles.

“Aish! Noonas! No no no, you can’t show him those!”

All three smirk. It’s pretty menacing. Sanggyun is running his hands over his face.

“Of course we can Sangyunnie,” Jiwoo starts.

“We’re your noonas,” Jimin continues.

“And we can do what we want,” Jiyoon finishes.

The three plod off in search of something, presumably, a photo book. Sanggyun sighs heavily and takes a seat on the couch. He pats the cushion to his left side and motions for Hyunbin to sit down with him.

“Are the pictures really that bad?” Hyunbin asks. Sanggyun gives him a withering look.

“Ah…” Hyunbin mumbles.

_Really bad._

When the triplets return, they’re flipping through a massive black book, their laughs nearly screams.

The two usher Sanggyun off the couch and onto a chair before surrounding Hyunbin.

“So, little Sanggyun here probably hasn’t told you much about us,” Jiyoon says.

“But we’re all attending university.” It’s Jiwoo this time who speaks.

Then Jimin. “And as a side hobby, we’re very much into cosmetics.” The three burst out in giggles again before flipping to the first page. It’s, Hyunbin assumes, Sanggyun. He looks young, middle school age maybe, and has an expression so unhappy that even Hyunbin starts feeling a little down. He has a variety of make-up products on his face, ranging from messily put on lipstick to several different shades of eyeshadow. Hyunbin glances at the current-time Sanggyun. He’s bright red. The triplets laugh.

“And here,” Jimin flips a page, “is Sanggyun the summer before high school.”

Picture Sanggyun has the same unhappy expression, but this time what’s most striking is his…unique hairstyle. It’s thick, frizzy, tight curls in a startling shade of blonde.

“That was our first attempt perming,” Jiwoo explains. “We figured we’d try bleaching too.”

“Ah…”

_Was that really a good idea?_

Another flip of the page.

“Ah! Here’s when he started high school!”

This time Sanggyun has long hair, wavy and almost caramel colored.

“We got a lot better at perms,” Jiyoon states.

“And at coloring,” Jiwoo says with a nod. And wow, this was obviously before he’d met Sanggyun but the boy in the photo is breathtaking.

“I, uh, I…just…wow,” Hyunbin says, completely in awe. Jimin laughs.

“Pretty, right?”

Sanggyun steams in the corner. The triplets look at him expectantly.

“Uh, I…yeah. Um. Pretty.”

“So Hyunbin, what do you do? What are your interests?” Jimin asks. She starts winding her hair around her index finger.

“Ah, uh, I’m a student. I…I’m a part-time model-”

“HAH? A model? Really! Wow!” Jiyoon coos.

“Can we dye your hair? We’ve never worked with a _model_ before.”  
“Hey! I’m as handsome as a model!” Sanggyun protests.

“Shh Sangyunnie, it’s not the same.”

Jiwoo pats the top of his head as he pouts.

“So anyways…Hyunbin…what is it you like about our brother? Surely somebody like you could find a better friend than him, ah?”

“Ah, er, I um…” Hyunbin stutters.

“What is it?”

“He’s just...” Hyunbin’s voice gets soft. “He’s really great.”

It’s not much, and it doesn’t even begin to explain the amount of feelings Hyunbin has for Sanggyun, but it seems to be enough to placate the triplets. The three smirk before moving to a corner and whispering fast. Hyunbin rubs at the back of his neck and coughs, cheeks still flushed from his admission.

“Sanggyunnie,” the triplets chorus. “Come over here!”

Sanggyun huffs but complies. The whispering restarts. Hyunbin is trying not to listen, but it’s just a little too tempting. He can’t hear it all, but he does catch “support you” and “good catch” and “marriage.” Sanggyun goes bright red after that, and Hyunbin can _definitely_ hear Sanggyun’s insistent hiss of “we’re not _like that_.” And that stings. Of course, it does. But it’s not like it’s information he didn’t already know.

There’s more whispering, but the tone is darker than before. More serious. The triplets seem annoyed now, they’re taking turns batting at him with their hands. He does his best to dodge, but he can’t escape all the blows. With each hit, the triplet’s faces grow angrier, their whispers even more vicious. Eventually he stands up, face flushed but expression furious. His fists are balled tight.

“Stop,” he grunts. The trio glares. He glares right back. “C’mon Hyunbin. We’re going.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jimin growls.

“A fool,” Jiyoon bites.

“You don’t expect him to wait around forever, right?” Jiwoo spits.

“You don’t understand,” Sanggyun snaps. “Keep out of my business.”

He grabs Hyunbin by the arm and ushers him up a flight of stairs and into a dark room. Sanggyun closes the door and flips on a light before running a hand through his hair, face still tight with anger. Hyunbin shifts back and forth on his feet. He tries not to stare at Sanggyun too blatantly.

“…sorry about that,” Sanggyun sighs. “My sisters just get a bit…excited.”

“Ah, uh, it’s okay.”

Hyunbin chuckles nervously. Sanggyun does not. Hyunbin’s laugh trails off into an awkward silence. He takes this chance to look around the room. It’s a little messy, some clothes litter the floor, and the bed isn’t made, but all in all it’s a pretty average room for a high school boy.

Sanggyun collapses on his bed in a heap before patting insistently next to him. Hyunbin gets the hint, just like before, and takes a seat next to the face down Sanggyun. There are a few more minutes of the room being filled with nothing but the sounds of their breathing, then Sanggyun rolls over and takes a gulp of air.

“I really am sorry,” he repeats. “My sisters…they just…they want me to find someone.”

“…someone?”

He can’t mean what Hyunbin thinks he means.

“…I’m…I’m too young for that still…I’m still just in high school…I don’t need to be worry about…about that. It’s stupid. You know?”  
So he did mean what Hyunbin thought he meant.

“…ah. Yeah.”

Sanggyun stares at his ceiling before shooting up, face full of guilt.

“Fuck, Hyunbin, I didn’t mean…I…I just…your feelings aren’t…they’re not stupid.”

“It’s okay hyung. It’s…it’s whatever.”  
Hyunbin shrugs. Sanggyun still looks guilty, but Hyunbin isn’t even making eye contact.

“Ah, hyung, I forgot to ask. Do you want to come with me to that party? The one I bought a suit for?”  
“Ah, yes, sure, that sounds great,” he says frantically, like he’s desperately trying to cling on to a different subject and dispel the tension. It only half works.

“Great,” Hyunbin says, but there’s no sincerity. “It’s in two days. I’ll pick you up, 6:30 P.M. Okay?”

“…okay.”

There’s still remnants of tension, and it’s making Sanggyun twitchy. His leg bounces up and down, causing the bed to shake just a bit. Hyunbin exhales. He’ll have to change the mood. He can’t handle Sanggyun’s nervous energy any longer.

“So anyways, your sisters, they’re really something.”

Sanggyun smiles gratefully.

“Yeah, they really are.”

He laughs a bit to himself.

“You know,” Sanggyun starts. “They were the ones to pierce my ears.”

“Haaah?! Really?!” Hyunbin asks, eyebrows rising. Sanggyun laughs even more.

“Yeah, it was really scary too! I was their test subject! They pierced my ears before they pierced their own,” he snickers. “They freaked out too! They were so startled that there was blood, even though it wasn’t much!”

Hyunbin starts laughing too, small at first, and then growing into full-bodied bellows. The two sit there, on Sanggyun’s small, unmade bed, and laugh until they aren’t sure what they’re laughing at anymore. And then Sanggyun stops laughing and opens his eyes, just barely wet with tears. He takes in Hyunbin’s face slowly, eyes traveling over the slope of his nose and his smooth cheeks and his defined jawline. His face morphs from one of joy into one of awe. Hyunbin stops laughing eventually and makes eye contact with Sanggyun. He tilts his head.

“What?” he asks. It’s endearing.

Sanggyun doesn’t answer, only stares deeper into Hyunbin’s eyes. Hyunbin blinks a few times and then tries to break eye contact, but he can’t. Every time he looks back at Sanggyun’s face, Sanggyun locks their eyes together. And Sanggyun doesn’t even realize he’s been moving closer, inching impossibly slow, until he’s a breath away from Hyunbin.

“What are you doing?” Hyunbin whispers.

“I don’t know,” he breathes. He tries to lean forward further, but a hand on his chest stops him.

“Then don’t.” The tone is serious and final. “I’m going home now. I’ll see you in two days.”

Hyunbin removes his hand. Sanggyun’s chest feels warm. Hyunbin stands.

“Thank you for inviting me over,” he says. His voice is formal and distant. Sanggyun hates it. Hyunbin bows slightly and steps out of the room. He hears the front door downstairs thump closed and watches Hyunbin walk away through his window. Sanggyun exhales angrily and pounds a fist once on the wall. His other hand clenches, fingernails digging deep into his palm. He brings a hand up to cover his eyes and bites at his lip viciously.

“Fuck,” he spits. _“Fuck.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! you can comment if you'd like to let me know how I'm doing or what you want to see in the story. thanks again and please support jbj! let's debut!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> model party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love dragging Minho and Vibe Label through the dirt. OT7 #letTaedonggo

Hyunbin is only a little bitter the next day. It’s surprising that he’s not angrier. Maybe it’s a bad sign. A sign that he’s getting used to Sanggyun’s shitty mixed messages. He shakes his head to ward off the thoughts. He can’t focus on things like that. He can’t handle it.

The doorbell rings and he answers it in just a bathrobe. The delivery man hands him two carefully packaged bags. Ah. The suits. He had nearly forgotten. The delivery man bows once and then begins walking away. Hyunbin closes the door and stares at the suits in his hands.

He breathes a few times, slowly, inhale and exhale. He sits down in his kitchen and breathes out a few more times. Then he raises his phone and begins dialing a familiar but rarely used number. It starts to ring and Hyunbin brings it up to his ear. It’s not a surprise when they pick up.

“Hello sir, it’s been quite a while since you’ve called.”

“Hello Taemin. I have a favor to ask.”

“Of course, sir.”

“I would like you to deliver a suit. To this address.” He rambles it off and listens to the barely noticeable scratches of a pen on paper.

“And who is this suit for, sir?”

“Kim Sanggyun.”

“Very well sir. I will be over promptly.”  
“Thank you Taemin.”

He waits in his kitchen for thirty more minutes in complete silence. He slows his breathing further, until it’s barely audible. He’s so calm he doesn’t even jump at the ringing of his doorbell. He goes to open it, Sanggyun’s suit in hand. The door swings open and the man outside bows.

“Hello sir.”

“Hello Taemin.”

Taemin smiles soft.

“It has been a long time sir.”

“Yes. It has.”

“I am glad to once again serve you, sir.”

Another bow. Hyunbin smiles fondly.

“Thank you Taemin,” he says. He hands Taemin the suit. Taemin nods.

“Please be well sir.” Hyunbin nods once.

“I will.”

Taemin bows one last time and shuts the door. Hyunbin returns to the kitchen and begins to breathe again. Slowly, carefully. Sanggyun’s face swims through his mind. Before he’s even aware, the sun is setting and the day is gone. His stomach rumbles unhappily. He curses. He’s forgotten to eat.

\----

Hyunbin arrives at Sanggyun’s home at 6:30 P.M. exactly. He knocks on the door and is greeted by Jiwoo and Jiyoon. It seems Jimin is missing tonight.

“Hi, I’m here to pick up Sanggyun,” he says. He suppresses a shiver as Sanggyun’s two sisters assess him. He wonders if they’ll do this every time. He hopes not.

“Sanggyun!” Jiwoo calls. She doesn’t turn. It makes him nervous. He adjusts his cuffs.

“Hyunbin is here!” Jiyoon shouts. Hyunbin coughs awkwardly.

_Shit Sanggyun, hurry up._

He hears Sanggyun coming before he sees him.

“Aish, noonas, stop shouting.”

And then Hyunbin sees him. He looks even better in the suit than Hyunbin remembers. His hair is styled, black dress shoes shiny. Hyunbin gawks and Sanggyun coughs.

“So, uh, what do you think?”

Jiyoon and Jiwoo exchange a glance and giggle.

“You look, uh, wow. You look great.”

Sanggyun smiles wide and Hyunbin wants to blush even though it’s Sanggyun who got complemented.

“C’mon, let’s get going,” Sanggyun says, ignoring the pointed looks from his sisters.  
“Bye,” the sisters chorus. Sanggyun sticks his tongue out and shuts the door right in their faces. Hyunbin can still hear them cackling through the door. It seems Sanggyun’s loud laugh is a trait he shares with his whole family.

“Wow, your car is really nice Hyunbin-ah.”

Hyunbin shrugs.

“I guess so.”

The two slip into the car and Hyunbin starts it up. He pulls out and begins the long drive. It’ll take at least thirty minutes to get to the venue.

“So, who exactly is coming to this party?” Sanggyun asks.

“Ah, you know, the regular types. Other models, designers, investors, CEOs. The usual.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say CEOs?”

“Yeah, of course, CEOs of big fashion brands, stuff like that.”

“Uh, okay,” Sanggyun replies, but he still sounds uncertain. “Anybody you know?”

“Hmm…” Hyunbin thinks hard. “My boss will be there, and a few other models from my agency…but I may recognize some models from other agencies too. But don’t worry, we don’t have to talk much. As long as I’m around it should be enough.”

“And you’re, uh…sorry, doing what again?”  
“Representing my agency. I have to make sure YGKPlus maintains it’s good reputation.”

“Ah, I uh, I see,” he says, but he sounds like he doesn’t see at all. The silence that follows toes the line between being comfortable and being awkward. The mood fluctuates back and forth, like it’s uncertain of settling on tense or relaxed. It seems to land on the former by the time they’ve arrived.

There’s a valet, and Hyunbin hands over his keys to a sharply dressed man. Another opens Sanggyun’s door and he exits, body stiff. He isn’t used to treatment like this. But Hyunbin looks like he’s completely in his element. Sanggyun tries to emulate some of his easy confidence. It’s a lot harder than he expected.

The valet hands a little slip to Hyunbin and Sanggyun watches him walk back over to him. He places a hand on Sanggyun’s lower back and guides him towards the doors. They enter into a sprawling hallway with massive crystal chandeliers and elaborate rugs. Sanggyun tries not to gawk. He’s only half successful. Hyunbin laughs at Sanggyun’s awe, and he flushes with embarrassment.

“Hey, don’t laugh, I’m just not used to this stuff.”

Hyunbin only laughs harder.

“Hey, I’m your hyung, cut it out.”

Hyunbin doesn’t stop laughing, and eventually, Sanggyun joins in. Hyunbin’s mind is thankfully quiet. It’s the little victories, right?

They wander for bit, Hyunbin nodding at a few people, shaking their hand. They all ask in hushed, but not quite enough to be inaudible, voices who the man with Hyunbin is. If it’s his boyfriend, his partner. Hyunbin shuts them all down, eyes lowered, resigned. Sanggyun can’t help but feel guilty. Hyunbin’s tired expression doesn’t help.

They run into another model that Hyunbin knows and Sanggyun awkwardly stands by as the two begin to chat. He peers all around, observing the room, as Hyunbin and the other model (who he finds out is named Hoolim) talk adamantly about the struggles of finding pants long enough to fit their legs. Hyunbin stops talking when he receives a gentle nudge from Sanggyun.

“Hey,” he whispers. “That guy has been eyeing you for, like, the past ten minutes.”

Hyunbin turns and Sanggyun hits him.

“Ow!”

“Don’t turn you idiot, you’re being so obvious.”

Hoolim cranes his neck just in time to see the mysterious stranger smirk and give a slight wave.

“Ah, that’s Ha Minho,” Hoolim supplies.

“Who?” Sanggyun asks.

“Ha Minho.” It’s Hyunbin speaking this time. “He’s a model for the Vibe Label.”

“What? I thought Vibe Label went bankrupt, how do they even have models still?”

Sanggyun’s eyebrows furrow.

“Isn’t he a little too short to be a model…?”

“He’s basically your height Sanggyun-hyung.”

“Yeah well…my face is good, so height doesn’t matter.”

Hyunbin rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue. All three glance at Minho again. He’s still staring. And then walking forward.

 _Oh,_ Hyunbin realizes belatedly, _he’s walking towards us._

“Hey there Hyunbinnie.”

“Oh wow look at that, gotta run!” Hoolim says. “I’m late to a…hike?”

Hyunbin would call bullshit, but knowing Hoolim, he probably is about to go on a hike. Even if it’s the middle of the night and incredibly dangerous. Hoolim is just like that. Doing whatever he wants. He nearly sprints away, but Minho doesn’t spare him a glance.

“Hello Minho.”

He’s deliberately cold, hoping maybe it’ll deter the conversation. Minho doesn’t seem fazed. Sanggyun is wound tight beside him.  
“So how’ve you Hyunbin-ah?” Minho asks lowly. He’s smirking.

“I’ve been okay.”

He doesn’t attempt to ask questions in return. Minho doesn’t seem to mind.

“I’ve been okay too. A little better than okay actually.”

“That’s nice.”

“Yeah, ever since Vibe Label merged with Major Nine, stuff has really started looking up.”

“Mm.”

“I heard Vibe Label went bankrupt,” Sanggyun says abruptly, cutting into the already tense conversation. Minho’s smirk drops immediately. His eyes are frosty. He glares once at Sanggyun before his smarmy smirk is back and he begins to completely ignore the other boy. He runs his hand through his hair in what looks to be an attempt at sexy.

“So Hyunbin, wanna come back to my place tonight?”

“No thanks, Minho.”

“C’mon Hyunbin, I know you don’t have plans.”  
“I’d really rather not.”

_Please go away._

“Aw Hyunbinnie,” he whines. “Remember all the _fun_ we had?”

“No Minho.”

_Please._

Minho’s face falls.

“So, what’s the deal, you got a boyfriend now?” he asks. His tone is sharp, all traces of pleading gone. “Somebody else getting a piece of that hot ass?”

Hyunbin’s breaths are getting shallower.

“Actually, he _does_ have one. He’s with me. So how about you kindly, oh I don’t know, _fuck off_ ,” Sanggyun spits. Minho dismisses him with a wave.

“Feh, you’re with this guy Hyunbin? Get real.”

His breaths gain speed, still shallow.

“Back. Off,” Sanggyun says lowly.

Hyunbin clenches his fist.

“He fuck you as good as I did?” Minho snarls. “Does he make you come as hard as you did with me?”  
A cold bead of sweat runs down the back of Hyunbin’s neck.

_Stop stop stop._

“Okay, we’re leaving. C’mon Hyunbin, let’s go.”

Suddenly everything feels so heavy. Like he can’t move from place.

“He’ll never fuck you as good as I did Hyunbinnie,” he bites. “He’ll never be as good.”

Hyunbin’s heart races, he tries not to hyperventilate. He eventually succumbs to the persistent pulling only to realize it’s Sanggyun dragging him away.

“I-I can’t, my agency, I have to stay for my agency, I-” he stutters. His hands are clammy.

“Shh, calm down. It’s fine. I’ll talk to your boss. I’ll get this all sorted out. Point them out for me. I’ll go talk to them.”

Hyunbin raises a shaky arm and points towards an elegantly dressed woman. Hyunbin stands stone still near the doorway. He sees Sanggyun approach her and sees her face go from passive to ice cold. Her gaze could practically frost over the whole room. She starts moving towards the security, burly men in black suits, and Sanggyun returns to his side.

“Hey Hyunbin-ah, I got it all sorted out. C’mon, let’s go. Minho can’t bother you anymore.”

Sanggyun is still holding his hand as they walk through the doors. They’re standing near the valet, waiting for the car, when they see the burly security guards hauling Minho out of the venue.

“Fuck you, Hyunbin,” he snarls. “You’ll never forget me. You’re fucking _nothing_.”

Hyunbin’s grip on Sanggyun’s hand tightens.

“Hey! Keep moving!” the guards shout. They shove him forward roughly and he stumbles. Sanggyun looks at him, directly into his eyes.

“Don’t you _ever_ talk to Hyunbin again,” he whispers. Minho holds the glare a moment longer before being shoved by security again. The car pulls up and the valet steps out, handing the keys to Hyunbin. He takes them shakily.

“Let me drive,” Sanggyun says. Hyunbin hands over the keys. Sanggyun helps him into the passenger seat and Hyunbin lets him, body compliant. Sanggyun slips into the driver’s side, the door closing with a thud.

“Thank you Sanggyun,” he whispers. Sanggyun smiles, warm and familiar.

“Of course, Hyunbin.”

He starts up the car, the engine rumbling softly. They pull out of the driveway and onto the road. And then they start the long drive home. Hyunbin’s hands are still clammy and cold, his breath still coming in short gasps. But with Sanggyun here, next to him, it doesn’t seem that bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this is kind of a serious note, so I apologize. Please help out the victims of wildfires in California if you can.  
> Also, support JBJ! let's debut.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sanggyun's logic is flawed. because he's stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo everybody, hope you enjoy the new chapter. please check out other works in [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720) series

The car ride is mostly silent, as expected, the only sounds being Hyunbin quietly directing Sanggyun to his home. They pull into the driveway slowly, but Sanggyun still somehow manages to ding the front headlight. Sanggyun stops the car and jumps out.

“Ah, shit, sorry Hyunbin-ah. I’ll pay for the repair.”

“Hm?” Hyunbin barely even registers Sanggyun’s voice. “Ah, whatever, it’s fine. This is my spare.”

“Your…your spare?”

“Yeah,” he says absentmindedly. “My spare car.”

Sanggyun balks.

“You have spare cars?”

“Hm? Yeah, of course, I do.”  
Sanggyun stares at him, confusion in his eyes, before he shrugs it off and ushers Hyunbin inside. He’s about to turn and leave when he feels a hand grabbing at his sleeve.

“Please,” Hyunbin whispers. “Please stay.”

He pauses. This isn’t a good idea.

“Okay.”

Sanggyun turns around and enters Hyunbin’s home. It’s familiar, but also different, now that Sanggyun knows that Hyunbin primarily lives alone. They move to Hyunbin’s room, and Sanggyun helps him remove his suit, piece by piece. Sanggyun doesn’t even flush when Hyunbin is left in his room only in his underwear. Sanggyun hangs up the suit carefully, smoothing out the creases.

“Thanks,” Hyunbin says. Sanggyun grunts.

“Where are your pajamas?” he asks. Hyunbin points towards a drawer.

“You can borrow some stuff too.”

Sanggyun smiles.

“Thanks, I wasn’t really looking forward to wearing a suit the whole time.”

He opens the drawer and pulls out two pairs of sweatpants and t-shirts. He hands a set to Hyunbin, who begins putting them on. Sanggyun starts stripping methodically, laying out the clothes on Hyunbin’s bed carefully.

“Take a spare hanger,” Hyunbin directs. Sanggyun complies, grabbing one from the closet, and hanging up his suit.

“I’ll have them both dry-cleaned.”

“Ah, you don’t have to do tha-”

“I’ll have them both dry-cleaned”

“Okay.”

Sanggyun pulls on the borrowed sweats and is pulling up the pants when Hyunbin appears in front of him. He nearly trips over the too-long pants when he takes a step back.

“Ah! Holy shit Hyunbin, you scared me,” he says, clenching a hand near his heart. Hyunbin brings a hand up to cup at Sanggyun’s jaw. Sanggyun stills. Their eyes meet. Hyunbin’s are foggy.

_What’s happening?_

He starts to slide down, hands trailing down Sanggyun’s chest.

“Wh-what’re you doing Hyunbin-ah?”

Sanggyun’s heart is racing.

_I need this._

“Please Sanggyun.”

Sanggyun gulps. Hyunbin looks up at him, kneeling, hands on Sanggyun’s thighs.

“…Hyunbin. I…”

“Sanggyun. Please. I _need_ this.”

Sanggyun is quiet for a long time. Hyunbin listens as his breathing slows.

“…okay,” he whispers. Hyunbin doesn’t smile, but his eyes are wide and grateful.

“Thank you,” he mumbles. He pulls down the sweats. “Thank you.”

Sanggyun bites his lip and thinks about the night sky. The stars seem endlessly far.

\----  
Sanggyun can’t help but feel guilty afterwards. He brushes a thumb over Hyunbin’s cheek and helps him into bed, pulling up the comforter to his chin.

“Goodnight Hyunbin,” he murmurs. Hyunbin doesn’t answer, but his eyes aren’t closed. The look exchanged between them is loaded and heavy. Hyunbin closes his eyes. Sanggyun runs at tongue over his teeth. Another brush over Hyunbin’s cheek, and then Sanggyun stands.

He gives Hyunbin a final glance and before walking towards the doorway and clicking off the lights. He exits through the door and closes it behind himself with a click, then heads to the room he normally stays in. The bed is plush and the comforter soft. He closes his eyes and counts his breaths until he falls asleep.

\----  
Hyunbin wakes to the smell of eggs and rice. He walks out, not even checking his mirror. He knows he probably looks like shit. He pats the top of his head and is unsurprised to feel mussed hair, yup, no surprises there. He heads to the kitchen to find Sanggyun in front of the stove. Hyunbin notes that Sanggyun looks so small in his clothing. He has to convince himself it’s not cute.

“Hey,” Hyunbin says. His voice is hoarse.

“Hi.” Sanggyun doesn’t turn, but that’s probably just because he’s cooking. Or at least, that’s what Hyunbin tells himself. He goes to the table and sits in silence, not even checking his phone. A few minutes pass and Sanggyun joins him with two steaming plates of eggs and rice.

“Thanks,” Hyunbin mutters. Sanggyun grunts. They eat in silence and avoid eye contact. Halfway through the meal, Hyunbin can’t take it anymore.

“So listen,” he starts. Sanggyun’s head shoots up, eyes meeting Hyunbin’s. “I know you’re dying to ask questions. So go on. Ask.”  
Sanggyun breaks the eye contact and looks downwards.

“…how did you even...was that guy last night really…were you two…”

“You mean Minho, right?”

“…yeah. Him. You two were…were what?”  
“Nothing serious. Just…fooling around. Experimenting.”

“How…er…how long ago was this?”

“Hmm…” Hyunbin scratches at his arm. “A year, maybe? I’m not sure. I was a first-year…”

“Ahh…I, uh, see…” Sanggyun trails off. Hyunbin knows what he’s implying.

“…yeah. This was…after I met you.”

“…you said you were…experimenting?”

Hyunbin lets out a humorless chuckle.

“Yeah, I was…confused, I guess. And Minho seemed nice…confident. Like he knew who he was. And I was desperate to figure myself out…”

Sanggyun’s eyebrows draw together.

“You were—”

“We, well more like _I_ ended it when he wanted to go steady,” Hyunbin interrupts. “I was already…interested in somebody.”

The words are left unsaid, but from the look in Sanggyun’s eyes, Hyunbin knows he’s understanding the bigger picture.

_It was you. I was interested in you._

“Minho…he seemed fine when I said I wanted to stop. He didn’t try to fight it or anything…and then I started seeing him less and less. He wasn’t around at photoshoots anymore, no runways, not even showing up to parties.” Hyunbin shrugs. “I guess that’s when Vibe started running into money problems. Couldn’t afford to send out models anymore...”

“I still can’t believe he was a model…”

Hyunbin laughs again, but this time it’s genuine.

“…still can’t believe you and he fooled around. I mean, _you_ and _him?_ Totally different leagues,” Sanggyun says with a chuckle. And then his ears go bright red, like he just realized what he said.

“I mean, uh, just, you know, you’re, um, attractive. Objectively, of course.”

Hyunbin sighs, but his face is still smiling.

“We both know that it’s more than that.”

Sanggyun’s shoulders slump.

“Okay, you got me. You’re hot. There, is that what you wanted to hear?”

Hyunbin preens.

“Yes.”

He flutters his eyelashes and winks, overexaggerated and sickly sweet. Sanggyun pretends to gag.

“No, but really, why did you stay with him? Was he really,” Sanggyun lowers his voice to a whisper. “ _that_ good?”

Hyunbin’s laugh is full bodied, echoing throughout the kitchen.

“No,” he gasps, shoulders still shaking with laughter, “but it’s not like there were any other options, you know?”

“I…I guess. I just…I thought we were close, even back then. It’s…I mean…why didn’t you just…”

“Trust you?” Hyunbin finishes. “Aish, Sanggyun-hyung…I was a stupid first-year, in a situation that was way over my head. I had all these weird feelings…and no idea what to do about any of it.”

Sanggyun reaches out a hand to try and rub at Hyunbin’s arm, an attempt at being comforting. Hyunbin dodges and pretends to not see Sanggyun’s hurt expression.

“I was in too deep, with a growing crush on…”

_You._

“…an upperclassman. I didn’t know what was going on…and then when I _did_ figure it all out, I mean, I just kept at it with Minho. It was convenient.”

Sanggyun doesn’t try to reach out again, but Hyunbin can see his hand twitch. Sanggyun balls it into a fist and moves it resolutely to his side.

“When he wanted to go steady…I refused.”

Their eyes lock. Sanggyun’s mouth opens and Hyunbin prays to every higher power that he doesn’t say what Hyunbin thinks he will.  
“Because of me,” he whispers.

_Oh, come the fuck on._

“Yeah,” Hyunbin says sharply. “Because of you.”

When will the world take pity on him? Hm, never? Fantastic. That’s what he thought.

“I’m sorry…” Sanggyun mumbles. Hyunbin runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Stop fucking apologizing, Sanggyun,” he bites. Sanggyun shrinks back and brings up his hands to clutch at his arms. “I made my decision, okay? I get it, I can handle the consequences.”

Sanggyun looks like he’s about ready to disappear into the ground. His expression is scared, a deer in the headlights sort of look.

“I’ve accepted this outcome. Now please, _please_ Sanggyun. Let the wound start to heal.”

“I…I wasn’t trying to—”

“Sanggyun-hyung.” Sanggyun’s mouth clicks shut. Hyunbin could almost make out the sound of his teeth colliding. “You have to stop these mixed messages.”

“I…”

“Let me finish.”

“…okay. I’m sorry.”

“What you’re doing isn’t helping me. You can’t just string me along Sanggyun…I’m not some shitty toy you can play with.”

“You’re not—I don’t think of you as a—you’re…you’re more than that Hyunbin,” he finishes lamely. “You’re...special.”

“Sanggyun-hyung,” he whines. “Please, it’s shit like this…it messes with my head Sanggyun.”

His eyes peer into Sanggyun’s, so sharp it’s like he’s trying to reach Sanggyun’s soul.

“You have to stop this…I can’t keep on doing it. This dance is…too much for me.”

Sanggyun leans forward and brings a hand to Hyunbin’s jaw. This feels like a newly common action.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters. Hyunbin thinks that’s all, and makes a move to pull away, but Sanggyun doesn’t let him.

“No,” Hyunbin pleads. “Please, no, Sanggyun-hyung, no, don’t…”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Sanggyun,” he breathes, close to tears. And then Sanggyun’s lips are on his again, and Hyunbin melts into the kiss. How can he not? It’s a cruel taste of something he wants that’s just barely out of reach. He wants to lose himself in the kiss, memorize the feeling of it, so it’ll keep him company at night when he’s left all alone again.

He pushes Sanggyun away reluctantly. It takes nearly all his willpower. He can’t help when his eyes begin to water even more, and eventually tears begin to spill down his cheeks. Sanggyun’s face goes from a serene happiness to worry in less than a second.

“Oh shit,” he mumbles. “Oh, fucking shit.”

Sanggyun covers his face and groans. “You’ve fucking done it now Sanggyun,” he hisses. He moves over to Hyunbin and starts wrapping him in a warm hug.

“I’m sorry Hyunbin. I’m so, so sorry. This won’t happen again. I’ll stop.”

“I hate you hyung,” Hyunbin hiccups, but they both know there’s no truth to the words.

“Shhh,” Sanggyun sighs, rubbing his back soothingly. Hyunbin sniffles and sobs into Sanggyun’s shoulder, soaking through his borrowed shirt. Sanggyun can feel it, the prickling of fuzzy feelings that are all too familiar. They’re forming in his belly, distracting and uncontrollable. He looks down at Hyunbin one more time and makes a decision. He’ll push these nuisances of feelings down as deep as they can go. He rubs at Hyunbin’s back faster as he blubbers, unable to stop the tears once they’re flowing.

Yes. These feelings need to be kept down. Hyunbin doesn’t ever need to find out. He accepts that he has to let Hyunbin get over him. Sanggyun’s feelings are too new, too fresh to fully meet Hyunbin’s needs. The feelings are confusing and undeveloped, they won’t be even close to the level of Hyunbin’s. In his arms, Hyunbin wails. This is about Hyunbin now. All of it. His happiness is the top priority. Sanggyun’s feelings will just have to wait.

Sanggyun blinks hard a few times, feeling a familiar prickle. With both hands preoccupied soothing Hyunbin, he can’t bring them up to rub at his eyes. He can’t help it as one or two drops skate down his cheeks. He watches them in slow motion as they land on the back of Hyunbin’s neck. He sets his mouth in a line, firm and determined. Hyunbin: Top Priority. Check.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol these kids. everybody, please check out their new album teaser. it's really good. let's all support jbj! leave a comment if you wanna tell me how i'm doing
> 
> if you're looking for something spooky, also please check out our halloween crack fic [ Hands on Me ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12356427/chapters/28107048)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> decisions decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo, sorry for the late (ish) post. i've been pretty busy. thank you all for your support

Sanggyun does his best to try and give Hyunbin space, but Hyunbin is stubborn. On the third day, he insists that they hang out the next day, and leaves very little room for argument. Hyunbin has already decided that this is it, this will be the end of his pining. Sanggyun can send out the most mixed of signals, but now, Hyunbin won’t budge. He’s accepted that he and Sanggyun will never be more, because he’s tired of waiting. And Hyunbin knows, that if he waits for Sanggyun to make a move, he’ll be old and grey before he gets a straight answer and that’s just not a way to live.

He sends the message and spends the rest of the day lounging about. With this newfound lack of expectation, suddenly, everything seems so much easier. He doesn’t have to stress any more about Sanggyun’s responses, or his weird, borderline flirty comments. Now, instead of his mind being flooded with the thoughts of futures he’d envisioned for him and Sanggyun, his mind is blissfully quiet, calm in a way it hasn’t been in months.

He almost feels like celebrating, but he decides that that’s probably a little overboard. He wants to go to an arcade, like old times, where they blow way too much money trying to win cheap candy and laugh more than what’s considered appropriate for high schoolers.

_9:49 P.M. Me: Hey, I want to go to the arcade tomorrow_

Sanggyun makes him wait for ten minutes. It annoys Hyunbin a bit, but not enough for him to scold Sanggyun.

_10:01 P.M. Sangyunnie-hyung: ok_

He decides that he should make Sanggyun wait too.

_10:11 P.M. Me: meet me at the regular arcade_

_10:12 P.M. Me: at 1_

_10:15 P.M. Sangyunnie-hyung: ok_

It’s pretty early for Hyunbin to turn in, but there’s really no benefit in staying up. There aren’t any new episodes of any dramas he’s watching, no recently released games to occupy his time. There really is no point in staying up, and it turns out he’s more tired than he thought. It’s lights out the moment his head hits the pillow.

\----  
Hyunbin makes himself a simple breakfast of toast and fruit in the morning, not like he could manage much else. He pulls out his phone as he sinks his teeth into an apple. It crunches nicely, perfectly sweet. He scrolls down through photos posted the night before, but there’s nothing that really catches his eye.

He pauses for a few minutes on a photo Taedong posted, yet another one of his pictures with his mysterious significant other. And of course, like usual, the photo is far too blurry for Hyunbin to make out a figure, much less a face. Maybe he’ll ask Taedong one day, that is, if he remembers.

The hours drag so slowly that Hyunbin ends up taking an unexpected nap. He blinks awake two hours later, bleary and disoriented. It’s half past noon, and even though he’ll be a little early, he decides to start heading over to the arcade anyways.

He sets a slow pace, and manages to arrive just five minutes before one. Sanggyun is standing outside the arcade awkwardly, eyes darting back and forth. He spots Hyunbin, not like it’s particularly difficult, and waves excitedly. Hyunbin rolls his eyes, because Sanggyun is _so_ embarrassing, but waves back anyways.

“Have you been waiting long?” he asks, sidling up to Sanggyun. They turn to walk into the arcade.

“No, maybe five minutes?”

“Ah…good.”

“…yeah…”

The conversation trails off awkwardly, the atmosphere becoming even more uncomfortable as Sanggyun realizes what Hyunbin already knew.

“Ah…this is…uh…”

“Where we had our date,” Hyunbin finishes. Sanggyun scratches at his arm. “Don’t worry hyung, it’s fine. Let’s just have fun, yeah?”

“...okay. Yeah, sure, let’s have fun Hyunbin-ah.”

Hyunbin smiles encouragingly and Sanggyun returns it as best he can. It’s not even close to being as bright, but Hyunbin appreciates that he’s trying. They get coins, way more than what’s reasonable, and start playing games.

They go for a rhythm game first where Sanggyun, yet again, smokes Hyunbin. Hyunbin makes up for it though when they play a fighting game and wins three rounds in a row. The dance game is next, and Hyunbin is only a little disappointed to realize that neither of them improved at all. They’re both breathing heavy afterwards, because Sanggyun had the genius idea to put the game on the hardest difficulty.

Hyunbin drags a reluctant Sanggyun to a familiar claw game in the corner. It has new prizes, cute stuffed animals replacing miscellaneous boxes of candy and cheap trinkets. He spots a fluffy looking stuffed puppy that he desperately wants. It’s uncharacteristic, but that doesn’t seem to affect Hyunbin’s desire at all.

He uses his own coins first until he’s left with no coins, and no puppy. But, unexpectedly, he did manage to accidentally obtain a bear. He insists Sanggyun let him use his remaining coins, and Sanggyun hands them over with a guilty expression.

“Hey, stop looking like that. I already told you that it’s fine.”

“…I know…I just…last time we were here…the bracelet…”

“ _Hyung._ Listen to me. I said it’s fine, so it is, okay?”

Hyunbin is annoyed now, all he wanted was to have a normal day out with Sanggyun, casual like it was before his confession. But Sanggyun, for god knows why, keeps on bringing up the past. He’s making it hard for Hyunbin to follow through on his promise to stop pining. How are you supposed to get over something, when the very problem himself keeps on talking about it?

Hyunbin tries for the next ten minutes, burning through nearly all of Sanggyun’s coins, but still isn’t able to get the puppy. He huffs, annoyed, these claw games are impossible. He clenches the remaining coins in his fist, only enough for one more play. He takes a deep breath, then exhales in surprise as Sanggyun taps on his shoulder.

“Here, let me try,” he insists, holding out his palm. Hyunbin shrugs, what’s the harm? He drops the coins into Sanggyun’s waiting hand and pats him on the back.

“Good luck,” he says. Because really, he’ll need a lot of good luck to best this dumb claw game.

Or maybe not.

Sanggyun gets it on his first (and only) try, smirking triumphantly as he hands over the soft toy. Hyunbin hugs it to his chest. It’s every bit as plush as he thought it would be.

“Thanks, Sanggyun-hyung.” He smiles but Sanggyun has stopped making eye contact. Hyunbin stares in confusion as Sanggyun’s pupils waver, eyes darting around and focusing on anything but Hyunbin’s face.

“Here hyung, have the bear.” He all but forces the stuffed bear into Sanggyun’s hands and becomes even more confused as Sanggyun flushes. Well. Confused is…nearly a blatant lie to be honest. Hyunbin knows why Sanggyun is blushing. But he doesn’t have time for any more mind games, so he ignores it like anybody else would. After all, you can’t send mixed signals when there’s no one there to receive them.

“Let’s go back to my place,” he suggests. Sanggyun nods, face still pink, one hand gripping the bear tight. They start walking, and then speed up as a few drops from the sky start to fall. Hyunbin frowns, the forecast didn’t mention any rain. When it starts to pelt down harder, he grabs Sanggyun’s hand and starts running. He clutches his stuffed toy in his left hand as his right grips Sanggyun’s hand tight and determined.

“I refuse to get his stuffed animal wet!” he shouts. People look, but he doesn’t care. “We spent too much time getting it for it to get soaked!”

They sprint down the street, and then all the way to Hyunbin’s home. Both are relatively fit, but a solid sprint for twenty minutes would take a toll on anybody. They’re breathing heavily by the time they make it through Hyunbin’s door, and it seems they were just in time. Thunder cracks dramatically outside as it begins to pour.

“Haa….Jeeeesus Christ…”

Hyunbin laughs, breathy and tired.

“Let’s watch…ha…a movie, yeah?”

Sanggyun nods, and it’s only just now that Hyunbin realizes they’re both drenched. Despite their best efforts to keep their toys dry, both are a little damp as well.

“I’ll get you a change of clothes hyung,” Hyunbin huffs, already in the process of heading to his room. He leaves Sanggyun standing awkwardly near his front door, sopping wet. Hyunbin shucks off his own clothes quickly and throws on a pair of sweats before grabbing spare clothing for Sanggyun from his top drawer. They’ll be a little big, but Sanggyun has worn Hyunbin’s clothing before, so Hyunbin figures it probably won’t be a big problem.

He comes back to the door and exchanges the clothing for the bear. He goes to set it with his own stuffed animal, currently perched to dry in a spare bathroom. When he comes back, Sanggyun still isn’t out of the bathroom.

“Hey, you okay?”

He knocks on the door.

“Ah…uh…” Sanggyun’s voice is muffled and uncertain. “I…I don’t have any spare underwear…”

Hyunbin blushes. He knows what that implies.

“Oh…uh…would you like to borrow a pair?”

There’s no response, and Hyunbin is just about to repeat the question louder when he hears an awkward cough.

“Uh…n-no…I wouldn’t want to…er…”

Hyunbin mulls over the two options to fix Sanggyun’s problem. Neither are that great. He can either lend Sanggyun underwear and hope that Sanggyun also likes boxer briefs (and ignore the painfully awkward situation of loaning your crush underwear) or allow Sanggyun to wear nothing underneath Hyunbin’s sweats, which, in Hyunbin’s opinion, is equally as embarrassing.

He spends just a little too long formulating a response. “It’s, uh, it’s up to you hyung.”

Another prolonged silence, and Hyunbin is once again unsure if Sanggyun heard him at all. Then he hears it, a quiet mumbling, but Sanggyun’s voice is too muffled by the door.

“What?”

Another set of indistinguishable words.

“I can’t hear you!”

The door flies open.

“I’d rather not borrow underwear!”

Hyunbin recoils.

“Ah. Okay.”

He rubs at the back of his neck and realizes Sanggyun still hasn’t put on a shirt.

“Hyung…please put on a shirt. It’s really cold, and you’re going to get sick…”

Sanggyun frowns.

“But you know I overheat easily.”

“It’s pouring outside. Put on a shirt hyung.”

“But—”

“No buts. Put it on.”

Sanggyun rolls his eyes, but Hyunbin doesn’t budge. He slips on the oversized shirt and Hyunbin can admit that it’s a little endearing that the sleeves are just a tad too long.

“Okay, c’mon, let’s go watch a movie.”

The two head to the living room and Sanggyun falls on the couch, overdramatic and theatrical. Hyunbin rolls his eyes.

_Why are we friends?_

“Pick something.” He tosses the remote to Sanggyun. “I’m gonna make popcorn or something.”

He walks to the kitchen, the floor cold on his bare feet. He hears the TV click on just as he starts opening cabinets. There isn’t much in terms of snacks, but in the back corner of a shelf he finds several packets of popcorn. He throws two into the microwave and searches for more junk food. By the time the popcorn is finished, he’s managed to fish out an unopened bag of M&M’s as well. He pours the popcorn in a bowl and balances it along with the package of candy on his walk back to the living room.

He throws the candy to Sanggyun, who thankfully catches it, and places the popcorn on the coffee table. He exhales as he collapses onto the couch beside Sanggyun, jostling the bag of chocolate.

“Ah, you didn’t pick something.”

“I, uh, I just wanted to wait for you.”

Hyunbin chuckles quietly and shrugs. Sanggyun smiles back. His body floods with warm affection. All worries of the relationship collapsing are dispelled at this moment.

“You’re weird hyung.”

“You are too.”

Hyunbin smiles, his eyes tiny crescents. He makes eye contact with Sanggyun. He has a lot of teeth. Hyunbin can’t believe he never noticed.

“I know.”

They giggle on the couch like children as the rain patters down outside. Their friendship will make it. Hyunbin doesn’t even know why he was worried at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please consider reading other works in the [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720) series. they're all good ones, i promise.
> 
> please support JBJ! they've debuted, but they still need your support


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spooky scary skeletons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late guys. i've been really busy with school

Ten minutes into the movie, Hyunbin acknowledges that he may have made a mistake. He’s never watched a horror movie with Sanggyun, and now, he understands why. Sanggyun is bundled up under a blanket, knees hugged tight to his chest. There’s been no jump scares yet, but Hyunbin has already had to gently remove the bowl of popcorn from Sanggyun’s grasp after he jolted at a music jump and spilled kernels over the floor and himself.

The movie really isn’t very scary, a few predictable jump scares, some spooky sound effects, an uncomfortable sex scene that they both tried to ignore while avoiding eye contact, but all in all, it’s a relatively tame horror movie. But none of that seems to affect Sanggyun’s reactions, and by the halfway point his face is burrowed into Hyunbin’s chest. Hyunbin starts rubbing Sanggyun’s back in a soothing, methodical manner. This seems to calm Sanggyun, and he’s able to get through the rest of the movie tucked into Hyunbin’s side.

“See, that wasn’t too bad, right?”

“Y-yeah. N-not too bad.”

“Let’s turn in, yeah?”

“O-Okay.”

But Sanggyun still seems pretty shaken up and is refusing to let go of Hyunbin’s arm.

“C-Can I…” he starts. “Can I sleep in your room tonight, Hyunbin?”

Hyunbin sighs. This is probably a bad idea.

“Of course, you can hyung.”

“I-In the bed?”

This is a really bad idea.

“Sure hyung.”

They go to his room and Hyunbin climbs into his bed. It’s easily big enough for two. The lights are already off, and he’s surprised he didn’t trip on the way to his bed. He lifts the sheets and pats the area next to him.

“C’mon Sanggyun-hyung.”

Sanggyun smile is tiny as he shuffles over to the bed.

“Th-Thanks Hyunbin-ah.”

His body is warm pressed to Hyunbin’s side. This is _such_ a bad idea.

“Goodnight hyung.”

“Goodnight Hyunbin-ah.”

Hyunbin closes his eyes and falls asleep to the slow breathing of Sanggyun.

\----  
When Hyunbin wakes up spooning Sanggyun, he can’t even say he’s surprised. He knew this was a bad idea. Hyunbin hasn’t moved, but it seems that there must’ve been some sort of signal, because soon, Sanggyun is blinking awake and burrowing even further into Hyunbin’s chest.

“Morning Hyunbinnie,” he mumbles. He wraps his arms around Hyunbin and draws him even closer. Hyunbin shifts awkwardly as he feels his thigh collide with something that certainly isn’t Sanggyun’s leg. Sanggyun hasn’t seemed to notice as he pushes ever closer. Hyunbin blushes as Sanggyun groans. And then his eyes shoot open and he’s shoving Hyunbin away.

“A-Aish! Uh, I’m sorry, uh, s-so sorry Hyunbin-ah,” he stutters. His face is burning hot. Hyunbin sits up and rubs at the back of his neck.

“It’s okay hyung…happens to all of us.”

Sanggyun still seems embarrassed, hands pulling his shirt down.

“I’ll go make us breakfast, okay?” Hyunbin stands. His cheeks are red before he even starts the sentence. “Y-You can go to the bathroom, to, um, er, take care of yourself…”

“H-Hyunbin! I would never-I couldn’t-aish! How could you even think…? Th-That I’d do…you know…something like…something like that!?”

“I-I’m just saying…” He coughs. “I’m…I’m gonna go. B-Breakfast awaits.”

Hyunbin exits and tries not to look back. Even when he’s tempted. He enters the kitchen and sighs, pulling open the fridge and grabbing eggs and bread. Breakfast is nearly done by the time Sanggyun emerges.

“D-Did you…?”

“N-No! Of course not!”

Hyunbin’s cheeks are still rosy as he hands a plate to Sanggyun. They eat in an uncomfortable silence and Hyunbin takes the plates to the sink as they finish.

“W-Well…I should probably get go-”

“ _Actually_ hyung,” Hyunbin interrupts. “I need some help on a rap, would that be okay?”

Sanggyun pauses. “Ah, yeah, sure Hyunbin-ah. Why don’t you show it to me, yeah?”

Hyunbin heads to his room and fetches a well-worn notebook. He flips through the pages as he walks back, eventually landing on the unfinished lyrics. He hands the book to Sanggyun and watches his face carefully for any changes. Finally, Sanggyun looks up.

“So…what’d you think?”

It’s silent.

“Good.” Hyunbin smiles. “But…it could use some work…well…it’d be easier for me to just show you.”

He shifts and scoots until his shoulder is right against Hyunbin’s. He pulls out a pen from who-knows-where and taps at the page. He uncaps it and draws a big blue circle.

“Look, the flow here…you could change it…”

The sun rises and sets and the sky is dark again by the time they’re finished. There are four new pages full of lyrics, a chorus penned out in blue ink.

“Ah, we’ve been here longer than I thought,” Sanggyun laughs.

“But this…this right here…”

“It’s good. Really. It, _this_ , this is good Hyunbin.”

Hyunbin’s heart swells. He hasn’t felt this proud in a long time. His stomach rumbles and he flushes.

“Ah, sorry,” he apologizes. Sanggyun giggles.

“No problem. I’m hungry too.”

Hyunbin pulls out his phone. “How about pizza?” He’s already dialing the number, not even expecting a response from Sanggyun. In just under thirty minutes, the two of them are once again sitting around the living room table eating steaming hot, pepperoni pizza.

“This is good pizza,” Sanggyun says around a mouthful. Hyunbin grunts in agreement. The whole pizza is gone fast, as expected of two high school boys.

“I should really get going this time,” Sanggyun starts. Hyunbin can’t argue with that.

“Thanks for helping me with this rap Sanggyun-hyung.” He looks over the crumpled paper again, eyes travelling over the scribbled lyrics.

“Of course.” Sanggyun claps him on the shoulder and heaves himself up.

“You can…you can wear those clothes home.”

Sanggyun glances down at himself. “Ah, I forgot I was wearing your clothes.”  He laughs and starts pulling off the shirt.

“S-Sanggyun! I said you could wear those home.”

“Ah, haha, did you? I didn’t hear.” Sanggyun sticks out his tongue and winks. Sanggyun is so full of shit. He totally heard. He grabs his backpack and slips on his shoes.  He reaches forward to give Hyunbin a final hug. And then kisses him on the cheek.

_This little shit…_

“Bye Hyunbin-ah!” he calls. He winks again and dashes down the dark street. Hyunbin can still hear the pattering of feet.

“You’re the worst hyung!” he shouts. He can hear Sanggyun’s obnoxious cackle.

_What a little fucker._

Hyunbin snorts and holds back a laugh. So much for ignoring mixed signals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, and please check out the series!! we're working hard on it. [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a talent show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY! I AM SO SORRY! i have been so swamped with school. i apologize again.

The return to school is a sad event. Within the first week, Hyunbin has already lapsed into old habits. He goes to class and listens to Lee Seokhoon and takes far too many notes. And then he goes to lunch and watches Donghan annoy Taehyun as Sanggyun laughs and Taedong roll his eyes. It’s familiar and nice, just the way Hyunbin likes it.

But the second week is when things get interesting. Shihyun starts showing up to lunch again, but this time he’s always right next to Yongguk. Donghan is the first to bring it up, because of course he would. Nobody else dared to comment, they all had common sense, but Donghan…Donghan has none. Or maybe he just doesn’t care.

“Yo,” he starts. “So, like, why are you here?”

Taedong shoves him and frowns. “Don’t be rude.”

Shihyun glances at Yongguk, but he’s met with the back of his head. “Ah…uh…I just…you guys are just really fun to be around…?”

Nobody is buying it, but none want to challenge him. Except Donghan.

“So…you’re, like, dating Yong-”

“Wow, I’m so full Donghan-ah, why don’t you eat my leftover bread,” Kenta interrupts with a tight smile. Shihyun is bright red, but he continues to eat as if nothing had been said at all.

“You know…” Taehyun starts. “You don’t have to hide anything from us…”  
Yongguk pauses for a moment then shakes his head. “Yeah, me and Shihyun are together now.” His face is serious, but his ears are a telltale bright red. Shihyun can barely contain his grin.

“Knew it,” Sanggyun laughs.

“No you didn’t hyung, don’t lie.” Hyunbin hits his shoulder and Sanggyun recoils.

“Aish, Hyunbinnie. So mean.” He rubs at his shoulder overdramatically. Hyunbin rolls his eyes and lunch continues on. He pretends not to notice Yongguk’s hand clutching Shihyun’s leg possessively. It’s cute, not like he’d ever say it.

\----  
The second week brings more than just one surprise it turns out. On Thursday, they’re met with another new addition.

“Th-This is Sungwoon-ah,” Taehyun starts. He’s uncharacteristically shy. “M-My…My boyfriend.”

Kenta smiles indulgently, like he already knew all along, but is playing along just for the fun of it. Sungwoon smiles politely and wraps an arm around Taehyun’s shoulders. Taehyun grins and kisses him on the cheek.

“Yuck.” Donghan sticks out his tongue, but it’s distinctly lacking sincerity. Hyunbin searches Donghan’s face. There’s _something_ off, but he can’t quite place it. He eyes scan Donghan again, but the look is gone before he can solve the mystery.

“ _I_ think they’re cute,” Shihyun says. “Good job hyung!”

The look on Donghan’s face is back, but Hyunbin still isn’t sure. It’s only a flash anyways, gone before he can decipher the code.

_It’s probably nothing._

Another glance.

_Yeah. Nothing._

\----

School this semester zips by faster than before and Hyunbin struggles to keep up. He’s finally granted a break at the school festival. He doesn’t pay much attention to the displays, ignoring the third year’s kissing booth (Dongho’s line is upsettingly barren while Minhyun is struggling to shorten his), the too-scary-for-school haunted house (is that Minki dressed as a ghost?) and the bizarrely animal-themed café. He catches a glimpse of maybe Taehyun talking to who he thinks is Sungwoon dressed as a…sheep? None of these displays are who he’s looking for anyways.

He makes his way to the main stage and finds a seat. There aren’t too many students now, but he knows it’ll fill up quick. Over to the side is a table with their useless T.A. Sungwoo talking to an annoyed looking Jisung. Teacher Kahi is resolutely on her phone, face stony, and Yumi is chatting with their future student council president, Euiwoong.

_He must be so warm. Why is he wearing all those layers?_

Hyunbin takes a spot right at the front with a clear view of the whole stage. He can’t afford to miss this. He hardly ever gets to see Sanggyun actually perform. Seats start to fill up around him, and then Sungwoon is shoving his way next to Hyunbin.

“You’re here for the talent show, right?” he asks.

“Taehyunnie said he’d be krumping.” Sungwoon glances around. “Hey, do you think they’d let me back stage?”

Hyunbin is about to respond with a ‘no,’ but it’s too late. Sungwoon stands and dashes off, searching for the performers. The seat beside Hyunbin doesn’t stay empty for long though.

“Hey,” a man says gruffly. Hyunbin holds back the impulse to flinch. “This seat taken?”

“N-No,” he stutters. The man grins and takes a seat. Is he really a student? He looks too scary.

“I’m here for my boyfriend,” he starts conversationally. Hyunbin remains quiet.

_I never asked…_

“What about you?” he asks. Hyunbin swallows thickly and struggles to meet his eyes.

“M-My hyung is g-going to rap,” he mutters.

“Ah. ’m Namhyung.” He holds out a hand.

“H-Hello. I’m Hyunbin.” The shake is aggressive and Hyunbin’s hand is sore by the end. On the other side of him, a soft-looking first year is tapping away on his phone. He hears him humming absentmindedly to himself.

_Cute._

Sungwoo meanders his way on stage, microphone in hand, and almost trips over a cable. He coughs.

“H-Hello-” The whole crowd flinches as the mic produces feedback.  “A-Ah, uh, sorry, uh, I’m Sungwoo, hello.”

Hyunbin sees Jisung shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.

“We’re going to start the talent show now. Uh, first up, is erm…” Sungwoo pulls out a crumpled piece of paper. “Hwang Minhyun, with a, uh, with, er, face-cleaning tips…?”

Hyunbin isn’t sure what to make of the mature third-year giving a long-winded explanation of why proper facial cleaning is important. But he really wasn’t expecting Minhyun to pull out a bowl of water and facial cleanser from who-knows-where and begin to give a live demo. When he finishes, there’s a bout of silence before the audience explodes. Girls scream as high pitched as they can, but all Hyunbin can hear is the manly shouting of Kang Dongho. Hyunbin claps along awkwardly and vows to forget the strange lesson.

They go through more acts, a comedy routine by Daniel and Seongwu, modern dance by Eunki and Jungjung, and even Samuel singing ‘Why Can’t We Be Friends.’ It’s just as sad as he expected, and he spends half of the song explaining to Namhyung what all the lyrics mean.

“Aish…that’s…really pathetic,” Namhyung says. Hyunbin nods. Maybe this Namhyung guy isn’t that bad after all. When Sanggyun finally enters onto the stage, Hyunbin holds back his desire to scream. He’s joined by Woo Jinyoung, still sporting bubblegum pink hair, and an oddly masked boy, face completely obscured. They start, and the rap is absolutely dazzling. When they finish, the crowd erupts into cheers. Hyunbin vaguely remembers himself standing up and shouting, still awestruck by the performance. The audience’s excitement dies down a little after that, but they’re still on edge, waiting for the next great performance.

Hyunbin thinks they’re about to get it when Justin enters onto the stage and begins an intricate dance, but he’s sorely mistaken. He watches in horror as Justin begins to strip and Sungwoo rushes to stop him. The music cuts awkwardly as Justin is ushered off stage and then Hyunbin nearly goes deaf as Namhyung and the other boy beside him stand and begin to scream when the next performers enter the stage.

They quiet down when the music starts, but Hyunbin knows that they’re both tense with excitement. It’s a quartet, made up of an odd foursome, and Hyunbin can feel himself go crazy when Gunhee starts to sing. He never expected that Gunhee, big-mouthed, gossipy, loud _Gunhee_ to be an incredible singer. But here he is, singing beautifully to some old song that Hyunbin thinks he might have heard once in his childhood.

When the music finishes, Namhyung and the other boy are back up, screaming at the top of their lungs. After a while, the other boy stops, but not Namhyung.

“YES! WHOOOO! I LOVE YOU!” he shouts. “YOU DID SO GOOD BABE! I LOVE YOU!”

Hyunbin cringes and catches one of the boys onstage blushing. He figures that he’s the boyfriend. When Namhyung finally takes a seat again, he turns to Hyunbin, eyes wild.

“Sorry if I made you lose your hearing.” His voice is hoarse. “I just love Dongsu so much.”

Hyunbin smiles gently. He understands. “It’s okay. I get it.”

Namhyung smiles gratefully. “Yeah…just sometimes…I just want to tell _everybody_ , you know? I…he’s just…”

Hyunbin rubs at his shoulder. “Yeah.”

Namhyung’s smile fades and his eyes search Hyunbin’s. “…that rapper from before…?”

“Yeah.” Namhyung is more perceptive than Hyunbin would’ve guessed.

“…it’ll work out, yeah? I promise.” Hyunbin doesn’t want to believe him, but he can’t stop himself from hoping.

The next act takes the stage, and Namhyung turns away. Hyunbin can feel his heart clench just a bit at the thought of him and Sanggyun being like Namhyung and that singing boy, being so in love with each other that you don’t care what anybody thinks. He doesn’t let himself dwell on it too long, he can’t stand the disappointment he’ll feel when he remembers Sanggyun is a fickle idiot. Luckily, the next act is a bubbly dance performance by Hyungseob, and soon, Hyunbin is drawn in and cheering along with the rest of the crowd.

_“It’ll work out.”_

Namhyung’s advice echoes in his mind, but Hyunbin pushes it away.

“PICK ME!” he chants. “PICK ME!’

_Pick me, Sanggyun._

“Hey baby! Show you my paradise!”

It’s a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check out the rest of the [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720) series!! thank you for reading and i apologize again


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the talent show post-credits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait everybody! please enjoy and let's support jbj!

Hyunbin is bursting with questions and praise after the talent show.

_Who was the masked rapper? How long did these three practice? And how did they keep it a secret? Did Sanggyun have to ask Kenta for help with Japanese?_

He’s almost sprinting to find Sanggyun and nearly knocks over a dejected looking Samuel.

“Ah, sorry!” Hyunbin pauses to check on the first-year. He always was a rickety one after all.

“I-It’s okay,” Samuel sniffs. Hyunbin catches a glimpse of wet cheeks and shifts awkwardly. He doesn’t really want to stay, but to leave…that’d just be cruel.

“A-Are you okay?”

Samuel looks up at him (because really, at 187 cm, who doesn’t?) with wide eyes and Hyunbin knows he’s made a mistake.

“I-I just…I can’t believe I lost…”

Hyunbin forces a smile and pats his back. “You’ll, uh, next time…er…there’s always next year Muel-ah.” He leaves Samuel still sniffling and shoves the moderate feelings of guilt deep down. Surely somebody will help him, right?

…right?

But Hyunbin really has no time to focus on Samuel,  all that matters is finding Sanggyun. He bolts past his seat buddy Namhyung and that singer and catches a glimpse of Namhyung giving him a stupid thumbs-up. Figures he’d know why Hyunbin was running.

“It’ll all work out!”

_Idiot._

He squashes down the hope and keeps running until he sees a familiar black head.

“Sanggyun-hyung!”

“Ack! Hyunb-” Sanggyun grunts as Hyunbin barrels into him.

“Good job hyung!”

Sanggyun grins and then winces. “Aish, that really hurt Hyunbin-ah.”

Hyunbin would normally feel bad, but Sanggyun has his fake upset face so Hyunbin refuses to feel any guilt. He knows Sanggyun’s tricks too well by this point. A moment passes and then Sanggyun smirks. “I was pretty good, wasn’t I?”

 “I take it back.”

“Icy, Hyunbinnie.” Sanggyun tugs on his sleeves. “But, c’mon, I was cool, right?”

Hyunbin rolls his eyes. “Sure hyung, you were cool.” Hyunbin coughs and locks eyes with Sanggyun. “But really, you were good Sanggyun-hyung. Really, really good.”

Sanggyun tugs at his sleeves again and breaks the eye contact.

“…good enough for you to fall for me again?”  
Hyunbin’s smile falls for a split second, but then he schools his expression. His smile returns, impeccable and unwavering. Sanggyun still isn’t looking at him. Hyunbin figures that there’s no way Sanggyun could’ve caught the slip-up.

“Fat chance, hyung.”

Sanggyun makes a move to lock their gazes. “…so…that’s a ‘no’?”

“Aish, Sanggyun-hyung, c’mon. Fuck off,” he groans. Hyunbin turns and runs a hand through his hair. It had all been going so well. But then Sanggyun had to be…Sanggyun.

“…okay.” Sanggyun gives up on trying to make eye contact. “But you meant it, right? I really was good? You’re not just saying that because you lo-”

“Shut _up_ ,” Hyunbin interrupts. “No. I’m _not_ saying it because of…you know…that. I mean it, you should…you should think about it seriously, you know?” Hyunbin bites his bottom lip. “Maybe even, I don’t know…make a career out of it?”

“Maybe I will.” Sanggyun smiles and lets out a little huff of a laugh. “Thanks Hyunbin-ah. C’mon, let’s walk around.”

He grabs Hyunbin’s hand and begins to walk. It’s silent for a few minutes before Hyunbin remembers that he had a question. Multiple questions.

“Hey, hyung, who was that masked guy with you?”

Sanggyun laughs nervously. “Ah…what masked guy?”

“You know, the one rapping. With you. On stage.”

“Ah…he’s…nobody…haha…yeah, nobody.”

“What? What’re you even saying hyung? Just tell me. What’s the big deal?”

Sanggyun stops walking and turns. “He just…I mean…he just doesn’t want to ruin his reputation or whatever.”

“What? But he was so good!”

“I know, right?!” Sanggyun coughs and schools his expression. “I mean, uh, he just wants his privacy.”

Hyunbin fixes him with a glare but Sanggyun pretends not to notice, humming absentmindedly and swinging their arms, hands still intertwined. Hyunbin is still curious, but he knows that it’ll be impossible to make Sanggyun reveal something he doesn’t want to. Even if Hyunbin is his favorite maknae.

“What about that other guy? Woo Jinyoung, right?”

Sanggyun laugh is carefree and happy.

“Ha! Yeah, Jinyoungie. He’s real crazy.”

Hyunbin chuckles. “Yeah, he only said it about thirty times.”  
“He had to make sure you all knew,” Sanggyun laughs.

“Ha…sure. He was good though. But hey, I didn’t really expect much from a guy with pink hair.”

 “Hey!” Sanggyun stops abruptly and glares. “The pink hair is _cute_ , okay?”

“Uh…yeah…cute…mmhmm…” Hyunbin pauses. “Wait…you aren’t saying you, y’know, like hi-”

“Do not even finish that sentence Hyunbin-ah.” Sanggyun’s glare is even sharper, but Hyunbin can see the mischievous twinkle. Sanggyun is a good actor, but Hyunbin will always be able to see through it. “I have absolutely _no_ inappropriate feelings for _any_ member of No Name.”

Hyunbin raises an eyebrow. “…what’s No Name?” They start walking again, Sanggyun leading Hyunbin with his hand.

“What? Weren’t you listening? The group, y’know, me and Woo Jinyoung and Eui-I mean, uh, that guy, that’s our name. No Name.”

“…your group has no name? I…don’t get it.”

“No, you idiot, the group’s name _is_ No Name.”

_Of course…of course Sanggyun would name his dumb group this. Of course he would._

“…of course. Obviously. Wow, how could I not get that? Wow, so smart.”

Sanggyun beams. “Absolutely! So clever, right?”  
“I was being sarcastic hyung.”

Sanggyun turns quickly and frowns then turns back and to continue to lead Hyunbin.

“Whatever, who asked for your opinion anyways?”  
_You did._ Hyunbin doesn’t say that part out loud.

The duo continue to wander and end up in a bizarrely crowded area.

“Uh, scuse me,” Hyunbin starts, tapping what looks like a first-year on the shoulder. She turns and tilts her head. “What exactly…I mean…why is it so crowded?”

“Hm? You don’t know?” Hyunbin shakes his head.

_That’s why I asked you…?_

“This is the line for the kissing booth.” She gestures in front of her and Hyunbin realizes that the whole crowd is actually an organized line. Hyunbin catches Sanggyun’s eye and Sanggyun shrugs.

“Oh…I see. For who?” He’s almost afraid to ask. She cranes her neck forward and frowns, like she’s disappointed that he doesn’t know.  
“For Minhyun-oppa of course! He’s _so_ handsome, right?”  
Samggyun glowers and Hyunbin laughs nervously. “Ah…er…yes…Minhyun-hyung is very handsome.”  
“Not as handsome as me,” Sanggyun huffs under his breath. It seems the girl didn’t hear and Hyunbin breathes a sigh of relief.

“Are…all these people waiting for Minhyun-hyung?”

“No, of course not! Over there…” She points to an equally daunting line. “…is the line for Jonghyun-oppa. And there…” She points again. “That’s for Minki-oppa.”

“And…why are they doing this?”

“It was Jonghyun-oppa’s idea. He asked some of student council to do it with him. They said all the proceeds go to fund other school events! Isn’t Minhyun-oppa so generous?”

“…I wasn’t aware Minki-hyung was in student council.”

She waves her hand. “Oh, he’s not. There was a school-wide vote on who else should have a kissing booth.”

“I don’t remember that…”

“It was in the school newspaper, _hello?_ Clueless, much?”

Sanggyun is starting to get uncomfortable, fidgeting awkwardly.

“Stop it,” Hyunbin hisses under his breath. Sanggyun stops.

“ _Excuse_ me?” The first year crosses her arms.

“N-nothing…”

“Ah, but they used a really weird picture of Minki. Look!” She pulls out a newspaper from who-knows-where and flips to a page with full color pictures.

_How high budget._

“See?” She points at what looks to be a beautiful woman. It reads “Gorgeous #3” underneath the photo in fancy script.

“What? Who is that? She’s so pretty…” Even Sanggyun seems to be in awe.

“Huh? Weren’t you listening? That’s Minki-oppa! You know…Choi Minki…? The third-year.”

Hyunbin and Sanggyun exchange a glance and laugh. “ _No way_ ,” Sanggyun laughs.

“It is! Really! Look closer!”

Hyunbin looks a little harder and blanches.

_It really is Minki…_

“It’s…it’s really Minki-hyung,” he whispers to Sanggyun. Sanggyun chokes.

“Anyways,” the girl interrupts. “That line is for Minki-oppa.”

Hyunbin only now realizes that it’s made up of excited looking boys. He turns and spots a suspiciously barren area.

“Ah, what’s that over there?” He points to the area.

“Hm? The big empty space? Oh…” She giggles but it’s heavily laden with nervousness. “That’s for Dongho-oppa,” she whispers.

“You mean the third year? Kang Dongho-hyung?”

“Yeah…” She’s still whispering, as if she’s afraid to say the words any louder.

“There’s…nobody in the line?”

“He’s just so scary.” She shivers and rubs her arms. “How are any of us supposed to kiss him?”

Sanggyun bumps Hyunbin’s shoulder gently. Sanggyun is still holding his hand.

“He’s not that scary,” Sanggyun mutters. Hyunbin can’t really disagree. He saw the man crying after all.

“Ah, wait! I think I see somebody in the line!” Hyunbin says excitedly. The first-year stands on her tiptoes and peers at the scene. It’s a suspicious looking person with dark sunglasses and a mask.

“Hm? Oh, Minki-oppa is in the line again.” She taps at her chin thoughtfully. “That’s probably why his line keeps getting longer and longer. He just spends his whole time getting in line for Dongho-oppa again and again.”

Hyunbin and Sanggyun laugh uncomfortably. It sounds just as awkward as it likely is.

“I think he feels sorry for Dongho-oppa.” She adjusts her skirt and turns her gaze forward. “Ah! The line is moving!” She waves.

“Ah, uh, goodbye.” He returns the wave with his free hand and then turns to Sanggyun. “Should we go to Dongho-hyung’s line? It’s a little bit sad.”

“Absolutely not!” Sanggyun growls. “You aren’t allowed to kiss anybody but me.”

Hyunbin shoves at Sanggyun’s shoulder hard. “Stop it hyung.” But he can’t hold back the warmth blooming in his heart.

“Whatever,” Sanggyun says. He starts walking again and Hyunbin wants to feel annoyed. He’s falling back into the game Sanggyun likes to play, the one that’s laden with hidden signals and mixed messages. He’d vowed to stop giving in, but it’s so hard.

“Look!” Sanggyun stops and points ahead. “I see a café! Must be something contributed by a class or whatever.” In the distance Hyunbin thinks he sees Taehyun’s short figure waiting in line.

“Let’s go. I’m hungry.” Sanggyun doesn’t wait for a reply before dragging Hyunbin in that direction.

“Thanks for asking for my opinion hyung.”

Sanggyun grins sideways and winks. “Sure Hyunbinnie. I knew you’d follow no matter what.”  
Hyunbin hates how right he is. But he still can’t wipe the dumb grin off his face.

_Maybe next time I’ll be strong._

“Ha!” he says out loud. “No way.”

“Hm? ‘No way’ what Hyunbin-ah?”

“Nothing.” A sigh. But the dumb smile remains.

“Nothing at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check out the rest of the [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720) please! and let me know how I'm doing in the comments below!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> love is in the air. or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope you all had good holidays if you celebrate Thanksgiving. i got delayed in an airport by a lot, so i got a bunch of time to work on the fic. it's getting close to ending, so stay tuned.

After the festival, it seems that Hyunbin’s life is back to zipping by. Graduation looms over the whole group, each day closer and closer to the separation of friends. The atmosphere is as joyful as it’s always been, but there’s a heaviness that wasn’t there before. Everybody acts happy, but they all know that a temporary split is inevitable.

Hyunbin is still trying to recover from the fair when Valentines’ Day all but punches him in the face. A week before, at lunch, he listens to Taehyun fret over the best flowers to get Sungwoon, and Sungwoon lament about his baking skills, incapable of making a cake. Shihyun pulls them aside separately and Hyunbin can barely make out the hushed whispers of Shihyun promising to help both.

Donghan and Taedong, on the other hand, talk openly about the friend chocolates they’ll exchange. Kenta asks the whole group what they want so he can prepare a batch of chocolate for all of them and Yongguk pointedly ignores Shihyun’s hopeful stare, just a hair’s width away from flat out asking for chocolate. Hyunbin holds back a laugh, Yongguk would never give Shihyun anything, much less chocolate, for Valentines’ Day, boyfriend or not.

“Hey, let’s go to the park today,” Sanggyun suggests as they’re cleaning up trash from lunch. Hyunbin wants to groan, but doesn’t.

“Hyung…I don’t want to go the park today because…”

_I’m in a good mood and I don’t want to ruin it._

“…because I’m tired.”

Sanggyun sends him a look, but doesn’t argue.

“How about I walk you home then? That’d be okay, right?”

_No._

“Not today, hyung.”

“Aw, c’mon.”

Hyunbin sighs. Hyunbin knows Sanggyun is stubborn, that he won’t give up. “…aish…fine. Fine.”

Sanggyun smiles wide. “Great! See you after school then Hyunbin-ah.”

As Hyunbin returns to the classroom he curses himself for being such a pushover and then tries to focus on class work. But even though he tried, he ends up phasing out anyways, only coming to when they’re dismissed.

Hyunbin sighs again and heads to the front of the school. He had hoped he’d have a little time to mentally prepare, but as per usual, he had lost track of time. Sanggyun waves and Hyunbin wonders one last time if he should pretend to ignore him. Psh. Why even try? Sanggyun would just run over and pester him until he noticed anyways.

“Over here Hyunbin-ah!” Sanggyun is still waving wildly. “Let’s go!”

Hyunbin wanders over reluctantly and they start on their regular journey to Hyunbin’s home.

“So, Valentines’ Day is on Wednesday,” Sanggyun starts.

“Mmhmm.”

“Are you planning to give anybody chocolates?”

“No.”

“Ah…” Sanggyun’s tone sounds disappointed. “You know…you should-”

“Sanggyun-hyung.” Hyunbin is trying to make his tone sound final, but he isn’t sure it’s working. “Don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”

“What did you think I was going to say?”  
They walk in silence for a few minutes as Hyunbin ponders how exactly to say what he means. Might as well be straight forward, what else does he have to lose?  
“Don’t ask me for chocolates Sanggyun-hyung.”

“…I wasn’t…I mean…okay you caught me.”

Hyunbin groans. “Sanggyun-hyung…”  
“Just, make me chocolates. C’mon, what’s the harm?”

Another groan. “You just want to eat chocolates, right?” Hyunbin is offering Sanggyun an out. Hopefully he’s smart enough to take it.

“…no.”

_God. Damn. It._

“…hyung.”

They stop walking. Hyunbin’s tone must be pretty disappointed because Sanggyun is avoiding his gaze rather pointedly. Hyunbin watches as Sanggyun’s chest rises with a deep inhale.

“What?” Sanggyun exhales. “What do you want from me, huh? You want me to lie?”

_You colossal fucking idiot._

“ _Yes!_ Yes, Sanggyun-hyung! That is _exactly_ what I want, okay? Lie! Please!”

They’re still standing still. Hyunbin’s gaze is pleading, Sanggyun’s is stony.

“Well…I won’t.”

Hyunbin watches Sanggyun’s Adam’s apple bob.

“Listen…we both know how you feel. And…well…I’m figuring it out. Okay?”

“…no. No, Sanggyun-hyung. That is not okay.”

“C’mon Hyunbin-ah. All I want is some chocolates.”

Sanggyun is making eye contact again and then he has the gall to wink cheekily.

“Please? No more games after this, I promise.”

Hyunbin feels his anger rising and desperately tries to put a lid on it. There’s no use in getting angry over stupidity.

“Fucking. Fine. Argh, you are so annoying! I’ll give you goddamn chocolates you big asshole.”

“Whoo!” Sanggyun flings his arms up and returns to walking. “Thanks, Hyunbinnie!”

“Oh my god, shut _up_ Sanggyun-hyung.”

Sanggyun laughs. “Okay!”

\----  
Hyunbin doesn’t expect anything back for White Day. He’d honestly forgotten about it, too preoccupied with the fact that a good chunk of his friends are about to graduate. So when Sanggyun asks him to go to the dreaded park he’s tempted to flat out refuse. But Hyunbin is smarter now, he knows Sanggyun will just insist of walking him home again.

He heads out to meet Sanggyun outside of the gates after school. It’s a far too regular feeling. His mind wanders as he makes his way to the gates, thinking about his friend group and the inevitable change about to happen. Donghan and Taedong seem to have grown closer and Hyunbin feels a pang of sympathy for Donghan. He’ll be losing who’s arguably his closest friend in their ragtag group. And then, sometimes, Donghan would get that weird look on his face sometimes, and Hyunbin really can’t piece together what it all means.

Taehyun and Sungwoon chatter about their plans after graduation, how they’re going to move in together into some apartment closer to university. It’s so domestic that Hyunbin thinks he’s going to be sick. But not really. Because deep inside, he secretly wants what they have. Kenta occasionally mentions how much he’ll miss them when he goes back to Japan, and promises to visit as often as he can. The mood is always so heavy after that, even Taehyun and Sungwoon’s antics can’t cheer up the group.

Hyunbin isn’t the most perceptive in their group, but it doesn’t take a genius to realize that there’s strain on Yongguk and Shihyun’s relationship. Shihyun looks consistently sadder these days, and Yongguk’s temper seems to have shortened. He’s far readier to snap at anybody in the group, and he’s received more than one harsh scolding from Taehyun. Taehyun had looked about ready to snap too when Yongguk had picked one too many fights with Sungwoon. After that particular fight, Shihyun and Yongguk seemed to drift even further apart, and Hyunbin could only feel sympathy for Shihyun. Shihyun continued to come to lunch, but Yongguk’s normal jabs at Shihyun were met with stony silence and active disapproval from the rest of the group instead of the light-hearted glares he received before.

He’s still mulling over his thoughts when a sharp voice breaks through the fog.

“Hey, Hyunbin, hey!”

Hyunbin snaps out of his thoughts only to find Sanggyun waving his hand in front of his face.

“Hey Hyunbin-ah, I lost you there for a sec. Everything okay?”

“Ah, uh, yeah. Just…lost in my thoughts.”

“Well, c’mon, let’s go before it gets dark.”

“Yeah, sure, of course. Sorry.”

They start walking and Sanggyun bumps him lightly with his shoulder.

“Hey…you sure everything is okay?”

He thinks about the group again, about the domestic Taehyun and Sungwoon, the strange look on Donghan’s face, the inevitable exit of Kenta. He thinks about Shihyun’s sadness and Yongguk being mean, and then he thinks of him and Sanggyun separating. Everything is not okay. But Sanggyun doesn’t need to know.

“Yeah. Everything is fine hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep on reading the rest of our series please. have a great week everybody, and make sure to eat three meals a day.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduating is risky business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost at the end, folks! thanks for bein' along for the ride.

The mood is still heavy as they start to walk, but Hyunbin tries his best to lighten everything up. He pointedly ignores Sanggyun’s gaze and tries to keep the conversation away from serious topics. Sanggyun’s eyes however were rarely this serious, especially when they were trained on him. They make Hyunbin nervous. They’re days away from graduation, from the majority of their group graduating, starting a new chapter. Hyunbin is a little sad, but he knows they’ll pull through. They always do.

The duo changes gears to talking about Sanggyun’s worries. It’s light-hearted and full of jokes, but there’s an underlying tension, a tone of fear rarely heard. Sanggyun doesn’t say it out loud, but Hyunbin knows he’s scared. Scared of the future in a way that he’s never been before.

“It’ll be okay hyung,” Hyunbin says quietly. Sanggyun laughs, plastic and fake.

“Of course it will! Don’t you think I know that?”  
Hyunbin doesn’t reply, only smiling softly. There’s a moment of silence.

“…thanks Hyunbin.”  
“Always.”

The conversation takes another turn after that, Sanggyun reveals that he’s started hanging around the old train station at night. Hyunbin knows what that means.

“Hyung, you gotta be careful down there.”  
“I know what I’m doing Hyunbin. Don’t worry.”  
“…I just don’t want you to get hurt.”  
“Aish, you’re ridiculous. All we do is rap. Nothing shady or anything.”  
“Yeah, but…you’re still out late. Stuff can happen. Mugging. Murder. You know. Stuff.”

“Jeez, quit worrying. It’s plenty safe. Besides, nobody knows who I am. I don’t even use my real name. And I wear a mask. All confidential and stuff.”  
“…I’m not going to be able to convince you anyways,” Hyunbin laughs, shaking his head. “But hey, invite me one day. I wanna see what Sanggyun-hyung’s cool underground rapper persona is like.”  
Sanggyun smiles, all teeth.

“Yeah, okay.”

\----  
The park is as abandoned as it usually is, and the two move to inhabit the swings yet again.

“So…what’s up hyung? It’s been a while since we’ve been to the park.”  
“We were here last week.”  
“Yeah. Like I said. A while.”  
Sanggyun snorts and shakes his head.

“You’re funny Hyunbin-ah.”  
A comfortable quiet sets.

“…no, but really. What’s up?”  
Sanggyun brings a hand to Hyunbin’s cheek. He has a bizarrely calm smile on his face. Hyunbin’s eyebrows furrow.

“…you know Hyunbin-ah…you’re really handsome.”  
“Yah, this again? Are you drunk?”  
“I’m not.”  
“…then what are you saying Sanggyun-hyung?”  
“What do you think I’m saying?”

“I don’t know hyung.”

Sanggyun starts to lean forward, and Hyunbin backs up before any real damage can happen.

“Whoa whoa whoa! What do you think you’re doing?”  
“…uh, trying to kiss you?”

“Are you sure you aren’t drunk?”  
“Uh, yeah, pretty sure.”  
“Then why are you trying to kiss me?”  
“Because I…have feelings for you? I don’t know, isn’t that a good enough answer?”  
“…hyung. _You_ were the one who rejected _me_. Remember? And you’re…you’re graduating now, you’re leaving.”  
“Shit, it’s not like I’m leaving the city, Hyunbin. We’re all still going to be here! Taehyun and Taedong and Yongguk are even going to the same university. And you’ve heard Kenta talk about how he wants to do a foreign exchange program in Korea.”

“But it’s not going to be the same hyung. We can’t…we can’t start anything now.”

Sanggyun face falls.

“Fuck, yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…I wanted to…I dunno…”

“Aish, Sanggyun…what even brought all this on?”  
“I was…I was thinking about my future the other day. And I was thinking about how I’d be so lonely if you all left. If I didn’t have you. And then I was thinking about, I dunno, living together. Just us two. And we were doing mundane stuff, domestic, that corny shit Taehyun and Sungwoon always talk about,” he says. Hyunbin laughs because it’s true. Taehyun and Sungwoon were already disgustingly domestic. Sanggyun continues, “…and I kept on thinking about how I want to wake up to see you in the morning and hold your hand and do all of those domestic things we always make fun of them for and…”  
“…Sanggyun-hyung…”  
“It’s, uh, it’s cool man, it’s whatever. It was silly anyways.”  
“No, it wasn’t. It sounded…nice.”

Sanggyun’s voice is a mumble when he speaks again. “Here.” He hands Hyunbin a neatly wrapped package.

“What is this?”

“White Day.” Sanggyun smiles sadly. “Remember?”

And oh, he didn’t remember. Hyunbin closes his eyes for a moment and exhales loudly.

“Listen. Hyung…how about…I…listen…I’ve…I’ve changed my mind. One date. And we can go from there. Yeah?”  
Sanggyun’s smile is happy, but cautious.

_Isn’t this ironic._

“Okay.”  
Hyunbin smiles and nudges him with his shoulder.

“Let’s go get coffee. My treat. I’ll even get you that sweet shit you like.”

“I’m the hyung here Hyunbin-ah, I should be the one treating you.”  
“It’s a gift. For graduating. Nobody thought you could do it.”  
“Wow, thanks for the inspiring vote of confidence.”  
“Of course hyung! I’ll always support you.”  
Sanggyun smiles again, real this time.

“I know.”  
He heaves himself up and stretches his arms.  
“Haah, okay, let’s get going! I’m fuckin’ thirsty!”  
Hyunbin laughs and clutches the box tight. They’re going to be fine.

\----

The café is crowded when they arrive and there’s already a lengthy line.

“Go grab us a table hyung, I’ll stand in line. You want that mocha cappuccino thing, right?”  
“Yeah.”

“Great, go sit, I’ll be over soon.”

Sanggyun moves towards the only empty table. It’s in the corner and looks kind of cramped, but it’s not like there are many other options. He sits and then pulls out his phone, absentmindedly scrolling through pictures on Instagram. There’s one of Sungwoon and Taehyun, both clad in suits with a caption reading _‘2 year anniversary!’_ Below is a post from Shihyun, but it’s a picture of Yongguk and his cats. _‘bae w/ his cats.’_ Sanggyun snorts. Disgusting.

Even further down is an artsy photo of a dirt road lined by large trees. _‘Life is not about the destination, but the journey.’_ Sanggyun rolls his eyes. Ong is so full of shit. By the time Hyunbin makes his way over with two cups of coffee, Sanggyun is watching a video Seonho posted of Guanlin shooting hoops. _‘hyung is so cool!’_

“Mm, watcha watching?”  
Hyunbin sets the drinks down and sits.

“Guanlin-ah being cool.”

“Ah, that kid is good at basketball. And he needs to stop growing. He’ll be taller than me soon and I can’t have that.”  
“Hey, can it. I don’t want to hear you whine about being shorter than somebody.”

Hyunbin laughs. “It’s okay, you’re still cool even though you’re short hyung.”

“I am not short.”

“Sure,” Hyunbin snorts.

“I’m not!”

But even though Sanggyun tries, he still can’t hide his grin.

\----  
The graduation is a formal affair. Hyunbin watches, almost in a daze, as his friends end their high school careers. He feels like he’s floating, like he’s watching a movie. It’s almost surreal, but it seems like he’s not the only one entranced. Shihyun sits beside him, hands clenched together tight.

Hyunbin doesn’t have to ask to know Shihyun’s eyes are trained on Yongguk. Even with the hardships, Shihyun still seems to be utterly devoted. Hyunbin wished he could say the same about Yongguk, but he can never be certain what the other is thinking. Yongguk is as much a mystery as he is an open book. Or maybe he’s just a book with some pages ripped out, who can really tell after all?

When the graduation is over, and he back to his big, empty house, he’s reminded of the party. Of the final party. He’s just about to message Sanggyun when he hears a knock on the door. He rolls his eyes. He’s sure he knows who’s at the door.

“Hello hyung,” he says, swinging the door open. Sanggyun beams.

“Hello Hyunbinnie!” Sanggyun wastes no time pushing past Hyunbin. “Ready for the party tonight?”

Sanggyun kicks off his shoes.

“Sure, hyung.”

They move to the living room and sprawl on the couch.

“Let’s relax ‘til then though, yeah?” Hyunbin asks. Sanggyun smiles and nods.

“Sounds good.” He fiddles with his sleeves. “And then…one last hurrah…right?”

Sanggyun’s eyes are a bit nervous and a bit sad, but his mouth is stretched wide. Hyunbin can’t help but smile back.

“One last hurrah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one last chapter. check out the rest [ pick me ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/816720), okay? thanks for all your support and please hold out for just a little longer!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end of the line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the long wait. I've finally finished all my exams and turned in all my papers. sweet freedom.

 

“So…listen Sanggyun-hyung…my car is going to be a bit cramped tonight.”

“We’re…taking your car? Taedong doesn’t live that far away…”

“Well, you see…” he starts. “I…may have agreed to bring alcohol.”  
Sanggyun raises an eyebrow. “Uh…so?”  
“I…may have agreed to bring a whole car full of alcohol.”

Sanggyun is silent, but his expression says it all.

“Y-You can squish in the front.”

“…fine.”

True to his word, the car is jampacked with bottles of varying alcohols.

“Here, hold this,” Hyunbin says, shoving what looks like an American import into his arms.

“Okay, c’mon, seatbelt on. Let’s rumble.”  
They drive in silence as the bottles clink. Hyunbin can feel a smile forming. He presses on the ignition.

“Whoa! Hyunbin what’re you-ah! Hyunbin!”

“Whoo!” he shouts, windows rolling down. “YEAH!”

“Calm down! Hyunbin! You’re going too fast!”

But eventually Sanggyun stops trying to argue and then they’re both laughing as the bottles clink and the wind rushes through the windows. They arrive at the party in one piece, but it was a close call, at least by Sanggyun’s standards. Donghan probably would have laughed and called them wusses.

\----  
“I’m here bitches!” Hyunbin shouts. The door flies open to reveal Taedong. Hyunbin smirks waltzes up to him, three bottles of liquor already in his hands. “Let’s get wasted!”

“Jeez Hyunbin-ah, just…get in.”

“Ooh! Hyunbin is here! Ah, what’d you bring?” Donghan studies the bottles in his hands.

“There’s more in the car.”

“I’ll get it!”

And with that Donghan is rushing off.

“Where’s he going?” Sanggyun asks. Hyunbin starts and nearly drops the bottles.

“Shit hyung, you scared me.”

Sanggyun sticks out his tongue and winks.

“Yuck hyung. Donghan is going to get more booze.”  
Sanggyun rolls his eyes. There’s no doubt Donghan will be blacked out by the end of the night. Hyunbin deposits the alcohol somewhere in the kitchen and then starts to wander. Sanggyun seems caught up talking to Kenta in the living room and Taedong is reluctantly helping Donghan haul the never-ending alcohol. He catches a glimpse of a familiar face in a corner.

“Hey,” he starts. Yongguk looks up. He looks tired.

“Hey.”

The silence is tense but Hyunbin can’t figure out why. “So. What’s up?”

“’m tired.”

Hyunbin nods and chews on his bottom lip. “Oh.”

The tense silence covers them again.

“So…” Hyunbin figures he’ll give it another go. “Where’s Shihyun?”

Yongguk tenses. “He was. Uh. Busy.”  
Hyunbin frowns. “Are you sure? I just saw him the other day and he said he was co-”

“He’s busy.”

Hyunbin’s jaw snaps shut. For a moment, it almost seemed like Yongguk was angry.

“…right,” Hyunbin mumbles. And then he waits for Yongguk to do…well…anything. But Yongguk doesn’t say a word, so Hyunbin is left staring at him and questioning why he even tried in the first place. He’s still staring when Sanggyun walks up from behind.

“Here,” he says, handing Hyunbin a cup of what he can only presume is alcohol. “Oh, hey Yonggukie.”

“Hi.” Yongguk pulls out his phone.

“Sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

“It’s fine.”

Sanggyun exchanges a look with Hyunbin.

“So whe-”

“Wow, look at the time, Sanggyun and I have to go now!”

Yongguk doesn’t look up, eyes glued to the screen.

“That was weird,” Sanggyun says. Hyunbin nods.

“Yeah. I…I think something happened with Shihyun and him. But I…” He takes a long sip of his mystery alcohol (it turns out to be beer). “I don’t know. I shouldn’t be jumping to conclusions or anything.”

“Yeah…” Sanggyun’s eyes look distant before snapping back into focus. “C’mon, let’s go hang out with Kenta. He…”

Sanggyun stops. Hyunbin knows what he’s about to say. It’s what none of them really want to bring up.

“Let’s make it count, right hyung?”

“Right.”

\----  
That’s how they end up on Taedong’s lawn, squished onto his lawn furniture that is most definitely not meant to hold six reasonably sized men. Yongguk is still away in a corner. Hyunbin considers yelling at him, reminding him of what’s about to happen. But then he figures it’s not worth the trouble. If Yongguk cares, he’d come.

“Hey, whose idea was it to let Taehyun and Sungwoon on the same couch?” Sanggyun asks.

“They’re just using it as an excuse to cuddle.” And there it is again, _something_ in Donghan’s tone. Something.

“So what?” Taehyun sticks out his tongue. “We’re dating. It’s allowed.” And to solidify the statement, he plants a wet kiss on Sungwoon’s cheek.

“Yuck, Taehyunnie,” Sungwoon whines. Hyunbin chuckles, they really are a cute couple after all. That seems to be it for Donghan, whatever _it_ is, because he starts chugging like mad.

“C’mon! More shots! More!” He holds up his glass and laughs towards the stars. “Kenta-hyung! C’mon!”

Kenta rolls his eyes but indulges him. Soon they’re all on their fifth shot of who knows what and it’s fair to say that they’re all pretty tipsy. And of course, this is when Yongguk decides it’s time to grace them with his presence.

“Where’ve you been?” Donghan slurs. Okay, so he’s the drunkest out of all of them.

“Thinking.”  
“D’nt lie Yongukkie,” Taehyun laughs. His eyes are blown out and his cheeks flushed. “We all know ya don’t think. ‘s why you and Shi-”

“Taehyun. Stop.”

Hyunbin risks a look at Yongguk. He’s frigid. Hyunbin glances over to Taehyun. His eyes have lost the haziness but the red in his cheeks remains.

“Fine. But you should know this is your fault,” he bites.

“Don’t you think I fucking know that Taehy-”

“Whoa whoa, okay, let’s all calm down. C’mon, have a drink,” Taedong interrupts. He shoves a cup into Yongguk’s hand. “See? Drink.”

He frowns but downs it. A few deep breaths later and he’s holding his hand out to Taehyun. “I’m sorry.”

Taheyun still looks a little mad, but he rolls his eyes and shakes back. “Whatever. We’re good.”  
Sanggyun bumps his shoulder. “What was that all about?” he whispers.

Hyunbin shrugs. “No idea, hyung.”  
The group dissolves into typical banter, full of gentle jabs and snide remarks. The party is starting to die down a little, but there’s still plenty of excitement. The group is still drinking and laughing when they hear sirens. If they all weren’t sure who was drunkest before, they sure do now. Donghan jumps up, cup still in his hand. The liquid sloshes over and soaks a part of his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“Fuck the system!” he shouts before he downs the rest of his drink. “Anarchy!”

He throws the cup down and smashes it with his foot. “They’ll never catch me!”

And then he’s off. Over the fence. And the next fence. And the next. The group is silent.

“Well. I’ll be back,” Taedong huffs. He gets up as the rest of the group exchange worried glances.

“Will…Donghan-ah be okay?” Hyunbin asks.

“Erm…yeah. Probably.” Sungwoon’s tone isn’t very reassuring, and neither are his eyes.

“He’s…it’ll all be okay,” Sanggyun insists. “He’s almost an adult. He’s kind of…logical…”

Sanggyun coughs.

“Coast clear,” Taedong says. Hyunbin sucks in a breath, he didn’t hear Taedong come back at all. Maybe he’s more drunk than he thought. Taedong has a new cup in his hand and is sipping from it idly.

“Yeah, so apparently it was just a noise complaint.” Another sip. “So, no big.”

“Ah…that’s good,” Yongguk says.

“…so…uh. Where’s Donghan?”

“He…he’s still not back.” Taehyun is grinning and he can’t hold back his laughter when he finishes the sentence.  
“I guess I expected that.” Taedong sits back down and they go back to how they usually are. It’s a little forced tonight, and everybody is sneaking loaded glances at Kenta, who is doing a very good job of pretending not to notice.

“You know,” Kenta says, interrupting Taedong or Sanggyun or Taehyun or somebody. It doesn’t really matter. “You guys are my best friends.”

There’s a beat before Taedong is sniffing. “We’ll miss you Kenta.”

“I’ll miss you guys too. Even Donghan.”

That makes the group laugh. All their smiles are a little sadder.

“Even Donghan,” Kenta repeats.

\----  
The party has just winded down when Kenta says he has to leave.

“I have a flight tomorrow. I can’t be out too late…” His voice is rough with emotion.

One by one, they all stand up to give Kenta a hug. Hyunbin isn’t sure what his hyungs are whispering in Kenta’s ear, but he guesses it must be pretty important by the way Kenta is sniffing. Hyunbin is the last to hug him.

“I’ll hug you twice as long. For me and Donghan.”

Kenta chuckles. “Thanks, Hyunbinnie.”

“I’ll really miss you Kenta-hyung.”

Kenta sniffs again. “I’ll be coming back. I promise.”

He pulls out his phone. “I’m going to call Donghan.”

They all wait in a huddle around Kenta until Donghan picks up.

“Hey Donghan-ah. Yeah. I’m leaving now, okay? I’ll be back. I promise. Yeah.” A pause. “Yeah…of course Donghannie. I love you too. I will be back, really, yes, I pinky promise.”

Kenta hangs up. “Okay, I really have to go now.”

Hyunbin would be lying if he said they weren’t all a little misty-eyed. They help Taedong clean after that, picking up discarded cups and empty bottles. The brunt of it is mostly over when Taedong orders them to go home.

“I can do the rest. Go home guys,” he insists. Hyunbin and Sanggyun are still a little tipsy when they get into Hyunbin’s car.

“Let’s just sit here for a bit,” Hyunbin suggests.

“Okay.”

Hyunbin opens up the sunroof. The stars are bright. Sanggyun leans over and tilts his head and kisses him once.

“We’re gonna be okay, right Hyunbin?”

“Yeah.”

They turn up to look at the sky again and Hyunbin can’t help but laugh. Sanggyun follows, and they laugh at the moon until they’re almost crying.

Hyunbin wipes the tears from his eyes.

“We’ll be just fine.”

He knows it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is folks. the end. thank you for all your support and sticking with me to the end. please keep an eye on the series, there's more to come!

**Author's Note:**

> i'll post chapters probably around every week? I have a few already written that i'll post soon, just have to edit. please watch JBJ and support them all.


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